Were Your Teeth in Your Head All Day?

March 27th 2013

I woke up, achy and groggy as usual.  I meandered down the hall.  I entered the bathroom, sleep still in my eyes.  I lifted the lid and sat.  SQUISH!  Lovely.  I forgot to check for theatrics.  Fabulous.  I stood.  I looked.  No theatrics.  It's turquoise.  Kid's Aim toothpaste then.  Wonderful.  Now my butt is minty fresh.

I washed my hands.  Gobs upon gobs of blue splattered randomly about the sink and counter top.  I washed them all down the drain.  I dried my hands on my pristine white towel.  Nice.  A splattering of azure covered that, too.

Downstairs I went to make the coffee!  I enjoyed my cup o caffeine while I checked my email and Facebook notifications and top stories.  Then it was time to get dressed.  I went into my room, found clothes, put them on, and went back into the bathroom to brush my teeth and hair.  

I stopped dead in the doorway.  I blinked.  I blinked again.  Nope.  Still there.  Still EVERYWHERE!  Dave hollered from downstairs to see if I was ready yet.  I hollered back that I needed a minute to brush my hair and take a picture.  This confused him somewhat.

When we got to the barn, I sought out JJ.  I found him.  

"Where your teeth in your head all day?"

Confused look.  "What?"

"Where your teeth in your head all day?"

"What?"

"Where they in your head all day?  Or did they jump out, run amok in the bathroom, and then hop back in?"

Giggling.  I showed him the picture.  Lisa and Dave came over to see what was going on.  I showed them the picture.  At first glance it appears to be a picture of a perfectly normal, white, bath tub.  But after a moment you notice the long splatters of turquoise blue goop artistically covering multiple surfaces creating quite the abstract masterpiece.  It's in the tub, on the shower walls, on the wall above the toilet, ON the toilet seat, and inside of the lid, on the top of the toilet lid, on the wall between the sink and the toilet, on the wall under the towel rack, on my towels, and there's a four year old mouth sized smush on my bathrobe.

We THOUGHT we had it covered.  We thought we'd gotten through.  But alas, the next day, there was MORE!  On the wall a foot above my head by the door, on the back of the door, on the hallway side of the door, on the wall behind the door.  It seems the boy tried covering every square inch he missed on day one.  What happened?  "I was painting."

Just yesterday, April 1st, I found a glob of toothpaste in the stairwell on the picture frame hanging on the wall.  How it got there?  No one knows.