Wednesday, October 6th 2010
I ran to the bank, then to get gas. Roll the passenger side window down, won't go back up. After getting gas I texted Bryan to let him know I was running late and my window won't go up. He texted back that we'll figure it out when I get there.
I headed up to Elizabeth. Bryan texted me to head to his house and someone would drive me to the school. They left so they wouldn't be late. When I got to Bryan's, his father was outside with the dog, Max. All three of us got in the car and Dayna's Grandfather drove me to Jefferson Arts Academy.
I walked in, up the main stairs, through the metal detector and met Dayna in the lobby outside the auditorium. She gave me a huge round-a-bout tackle of a hug while yelling, "Momma!" :-) I love my kid. It's good to feel wanted. We stood there talking to her friends. I met two by name, the other girl I was not sure who she was.
Bryan came over reading two sheets of paper. Dayna wandered a bit with her friends and said she was going to her locker. Bryan quickly said, "Oh no you're not, get over here, we have an issue." He softly told me she has too many absences listed for Chemistry. According to guidance's printout, she's been absent three times this week, but only for 5th period. :-/ He said it might not have been caught but she didn't know where her first period class was, a month into school. She apparently has not gotten there at all yet this year. Good way to start. Sigh! So Bryan got the class schedule, room numbers, and attendance record.
We missed first period, obviously. The teacher wouldn't have been able to tell us anything anyway, she hasn't been there! Second period History had nothing but rave reviews!
Third period Drama had wonderful things to say, but noted a "slight freak-out last week." Bryan and I both said, "She does that sometimes." Bryan continued to tell the teacher how Dayna has anxiety issues and missed several months of school because of it last year. Dayna quickly added, "I was in a mental rehabilitation facility." The teacher had a look, I said, "She likes to put it that way." He said for the most part Dayna is an active participant. She even had the initiative to drag a friend up in front of class on the first day and do a scene from "Proof."
I cannot remember the order of all her classes. The Guitar teacher said she has a great ear for music and is doing fantastic, he can tell she practices at home on her guitar.
English said she is doing beautifully, she should be in college. The teacher foresees Dayna as continuing in Honors English through high school and then going on to be a successful writer in college. She said Dayna is always taking note of books mentioned so she can read them outside of class. That's my bookworm!
The Chemistry teacher said, "Dayna! It's good to see you again, I've missed you the past few days." I mumbles "Yes, we just found that out." Then she asked, "How are you feeling?" Dayna said good. The teacher said she have to make up three assignments. Bryan asked the teacher how quickly she gets her attendance in the system. She said before she leaves for the day. He clarified that he can check online around dinnertime and it would be updated. He then explained to the teacher how Dayna was actually in school all week. The teacher made a face and said, "Uh oh!" I said, "No, you didn't tattle, guidance's printout did. Somehow Dayna miraculously disappeared for 5th period every day this week."
We met the Geometry teacher who said Dayna is a wonderful student, except she sometimes plays on her cell phone. :-( Remember when doodling and passing notes were all we had to distract us? Today's kids have paperless notes!
We met the French teacher. He's a very nice man, has a decently thick accent, speaks 7 different languages. Wow! Dayna warned me he might speak to me in French. I asked how he knew I spoke a little French. She said he asked her why she pronounced everything correctly and her response was, "My mom speaks French." Heh, I wish I could remember more of it!
After that we walked across the street to city hall and waited for Bryan's dad to pick us up, sans Max this time. Apparently the poochie was pooped! We walked in the house and the poor dog barely had the energy to get up and say hello. Dayna played Ode to Joy for me on her guitar (my favorite band song). Then she gave me a "bottle rocket." She yells at me that they're not bottle rockets. They are Poland Spring "AquaPods." They are little water bottles shaped like a rocket. Bottle Rockets.
Then I commenced my journey south towards home, with the heat cranked and the passenger window all the way down letting the wind blow my hair all sorts of all over!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Buggers
Over the weekend, we had a bug in the bathroom. It was on the wall above the sink. I've had quite a few since last month. I guess the season is changing nad they are moving to warmer climates, AKA my bathroom. I got the step stool, a roll of paper towels, and proceeded to pummel the unsuspecting creature. It was big, like 2 inches big, with large antennae, dark grey/light black. Ugh. Roach? I've never had a roach identified to me before, so I am not sure.
This week I also saw one in the toilet. UGH! I have to sit on that! Of all the places. I tolerated them in the shower - put on sneakers and pretend to stomp grapes. I tolerated them on the floor - drop newspaper and do the "La Cookaracha" dance on top. But my toilet?!?!? That's sacred space! I flushed. Beeh be been... Au revoir, bug!
Tuesday the shower drain was a little slow. I had pulled the curtain while it was still draining so I didn't realize the water had stopped. Wednesday morning there was a bug on the side of the tub. He jumped and attempted swimming. Another casualty of my bathroom. Despite his best attempts, Mr. Big Bug did not make it to shore.
Wednesday night after Dayna's Back to School night, I came home to activity behind the shower curtain. I braved a peek. There were two buggers bouncing around in there like crickets. Where are they coming from?!?! I attempted paper towel pummeling. Unsuccessful. These critters are live wires jumping all over. I wussed out on the stomping grapes tactic. I closed the bathroom door and went to bed.
Thursday morning I was up bright and early. Well, not really bright seeing as it's still dark at 4 AM. I remembered that I have bug spray! After my usual trip to the bathroom (and a strategic scope out of the toilet before use), I braved the curtain! Yup! Still there. Still two. Hot Shot here I come!
Several well calculated sprays later and hopefully they'll be done, off to visit their deceased relatives in the roach motel in the sky!
6AM Surveillance - no movement, but I am not looking forward to removing the carcasses. Ew!
This week I also saw one in the toilet. UGH! I have to sit on that! Of all the places. I tolerated them in the shower - put on sneakers and pretend to stomp grapes. I tolerated them on the floor - drop newspaper and do the "La Cookaracha" dance on top. But my toilet?!?!? That's sacred space! I flushed. Beeh be been... Au revoir, bug!
Tuesday the shower drain was a little slow. I had pulled the curtain while it was still draining so I didn't realize the water had stopped. Wednesday morning there was a bug on the side of the tub. He jumped and attempted swimming. Another casualty of my bathroom. Despite his best attempts, Mr. Big Bug did not make it to shore.
Wednesday night after Dayna's Back to School night, I came home to activity behind the shower curtain. I braved a peek. There were two buggers bouncing around in there like crickets. Where are they coming from?!?! I attempted paper towel pummeling. Unsuccessful. These critters are live wires jumping all over. I wussed out on the stomping grapes tactic. I closed the bathroom door and went to bed.
Thursday morning I was up bright and early. Well, not really bright seeing as it's still dark at 4 AM. I remembered that I have bug spray! After my usual trip to the bathroom (and a strategic scope out of the toilet before use), I braved the curtain! Yup! Still there. Still two. Hot Shot here I come!
Several well calculated sprays later and hopefully they'll be done, off to visit their deceased relatives in the roach motel in the sky!
6AM Surveillance - no movement, but I am not looking forward to removing the carcasses. Ew!
Social (No) Services
Monday, October 4th 2010
Social Services! I was up at 6am, dressed, coffee on board. Around 8am I started feeling the anxiety. I took half a Xanax and got myself out the door before I could procrastinate.
First Stop: Special Response to sort out the eviction paperwork, report my SSD income change for October, and drop off the electric bills. My caseworker is unavailable. :-( The receptionist told me to come back tomorrow. I said, "Tuesday is his paperwork day." No, summer's over, Mondays are his paper days, which is why he's unavailable today.
This was my fourth time trying to get in to see him. The one day the wait was so long he didn't have time for me. The next day he wasn't in, come back Tuesday. I went back Tuesday and they told me it was his paper day. Now I go in Monday and it's his paper day. Sigh!
Next Stop: Food Stamps! I waited in the reception line for 45 minutes. When I got to the receptionist, I told her my Food Stamps hadn't credited. She didn't look surprised. She said simply, "It's the 1st of the month." I guess this happens quite a bit. I told her I saw the nice caseworker two weeks ago for my recert. She said the cranky lady is still my caseworker. Joy! :-/ Have a seat...
About a half hour later, the second receptionist called my name. I returned to the desk to be told I had to do a recert. The first receptionist quickly said, "No, no, no, no. She just did her recert two weeks ago. She (the caseworker) needs to find out why it didn't credit and get this lady her food stamps." I sat back down.
Shortly after, I was called to the desk again. The receptionist informed me that the cranky lady has put my recert on the supervisors desk, give it two days, then call the 800 number on the back of the card to verify it's been credited. She said if there's a problem, I can just call, I don't have to come all the way back in.
Third Stop: Medicaid office! Much nicer office, only one other person in there. The receptionist took my information and called upstairs. Soon I was heading for the second floor to meet another case worker. I sat at her desk. She verified my source of income as SSD. Then she asked what my benefit amount was. When I told her, she said I was not eligible for Medicaid, I was $300 over the cap.
I said, "So I have no medical benefits until February when I am eligible for Medicare?" She said yes. I said I was going to have to cancel my appoinhtments and come off my meds. Then she asked me if I could get an HMO. I gave her the financial run down - Income $1200, rent $913, electric $100, food, transportation...what's left? My med's alone are a few hundred a month, one of them is almost $300 on it's own. She told me about Walmart's $4 prescriptions, I told her one of my meds doesn't have a generic and is not on the list there. She gave me the phone number for Rx4NJ to try to get prescription help, and the OHI clinic so I can see a doctor. That's the clinic that I was going to for 2 years who couldn't handle my issues. They referred me all over the place, and I wasn't able to be seen for many of those referrals because charity care clinics are nearly impossible to get into.
Sigh. I am glad I started weaning off my med's on Friday. You cannot abruptly stop a few of them.
Social Services! I was up at 6am, dressed, coffee on board. Around 8am I started feeling the anxiety. I took half a Xanax and got myself out the door before I could procrastinate.
First Stop: Special Response to sort out the eviction paperwork, report my SSD income change for October, and drop off the electric bills. My caseworker is unavailable. :-( The receptionist told me to come back tomorrow. I said, "Tuesday is his paperwork day." No, summer's over, Mondays are his paper days, which is why he's unavailable today.
This was my fourth time trying to get in to see him. The one day the wait was so long he didn't have time for me. The next day he wasn't in, come back Tuesday. I went back Tuesday and they told me it was his paper day. Now I go in Monday and it's his paper day. Sigh!
Next Stop: Food Stamps! I waited in the reception line for 45 minutes. When I got to the receptionist, I told her my Food Stamps hadn't credited. She didn't look surprised. She said simply, "It's the 1st of the month." I guess this happens quite a bit. I told her I saw the nice caseworker two weeks ago for my recert. She said the cranky lady is still my caseworker. Joy! :-/ Have a seat...
About a half hour later, the second receptionist called my name. I returned to the desk to be told I had to do a recert. The first receptionist quickly said, "No, no, no, no. She just did her recert two weeks ago. She (the caseworker) needs to find out why it didn't credit and get this lady her food stamps." I sat back down.
Shortly after, I was called to the desk again. The receptionist informed me that the cranky lady has put my recert on the supervisors desk, give it two days, then call the 800 number on the back of the card to verify it's been credited. She said if there's a problem, I can just call, I don't have to come all the way back in.
Third Stop: Medicaid office! Much nicer office, only one other person in there. The receptionist took my information and called upstairs. Soon I was heading for the second floor to meet another case worker. I sat at her desk. She verified my source of income as SSD. Then she asked what my benefit amount was. When I told her, she said I was not eligible for Medicaid, I was $300 over the cap.
I said, "So I have no medical benefits until February when I am eligible for Medicare?" She said yes. I said I was going to have to cancel my appoinhtments and come off my meds. Then she asked me if I could get an HMO. I gave her the financial run down - Income $1200, rent $913, electric $100, food, transportation...what's left? My med's alone are a few hundred a month, one of them is almost $300 on it's own. She told me about Walmart's $4 prescriptions, I told her one of my meds doesn't have a generic and is not on the list there. She gave me the phone number for Rx4NJ to try to get prescription help, and the OHI clinic so I can see a doctor. That's the clinic that I was going to for 2 years who couldn't handle my issues. They referred me all over the place, and I wasn't able to be seen for many of those referrals because charity care clinics are nearly impossible to get into.
Sigh. I am glad I started weaning off my med's on Friday. You cannot abruptly stop a few of them.
Pumpkins!
Saturday, October 2nd 2010
Dayna and I set to work on our pumpkins. She covered the table with newspaper while I put on my pajamas. I got out knives, spoons, and a plate for the "guts." She said this was the first time she'd done a jack-o-loantern all on her own. She said at her dad's, they do a lot of it for her. I figured she's 15, she'll be ok. She was. She did a fantastic job! She chose an anime-inspired face. It looks great!
I tried using a template. Unfortunately, I didn't quite have the luck Dayna did. The "Happy Halloween" letters were too close for my inadequate steak knife and my pumpkin began breaking off. Oncve it was unreadable and I decided there was no hope for saving it, I improvised and made it a face :-) Then I carved "Trick or Treat" onto another side of the pumpkin. That one came out pretty good. The pumpkins look great on the patio with the mums.
Dayna and I set to work on our pumpkins. She covered the table with newspaper while I put on my pajamas. I got out knives, spoons, and a plate for the "guts." She said this was the first time she'd done a jack-o-loantern all on her own. She said at her dad's, they do a lot of it for her. I figured she's 15, she'll be ok. She was. She did a fantastic job! She chose an anime-inspired face. It looks great!
I tried using a template. Unfortunately, I didn't quite have the luck Dayna did. The "Happy Halloween" letters were too close for my inadequate steak knife and my pumpkin began breaking off. Oncve it was unreadable and I decided there was no hope for saving it, I improvised and made it a face :-) Then I carved "Trick or Treat" onto another side of the pumpkin. That one came out pretty good. The pumpkins look great on the patio with the mums.
Not Authorized
Saturday, October 2nd 2010
Dayna and I went to Michael's. She bought embroidery floss for friendship bracelets and a wooden piggy bank box to paint.
Then we went to Shop Rite for a few things. We eded up with a cart full of groceries and a few pumpkins. Dayna helped so much. She put everything on the conveyor belt, bagged it all, and put the bags in the cart. She did a great job! She's so helpful.
I swiped my food stamps card. Not Authorized. :-( Hmm. I tried again. Not Authorized. The manager came over and tried manually. Still not authorized. It's showing a $0 balance. She asked if I'd like to try another form of payment. I don't have another form of payment. I was so embarrassed while I stood there watching the manager unload all of the groceries out of my cart leaving us with only a few cases of water and the pumpkins that I had enough cash to cover. :-( I felt so bad. I kept apologizing, to the cashier, to the manager, to the people in line behind me, to Dayna... I felt horrible.
Dayna and I went to Michael's. She bought embroidery floss for friendship bracelets and a wooden piggy bank box to paint.
Then we went to Shop Rite for a few things. We eded up with a cart full of groceries and a few pumpkins. Dayna helped so much. She put everything on the conveyor belt, bagged it all, and put the bags in the cart. She did a great job! She's so helpful.
I swiped my food stamps card. Not Authorized. :-( Hmm. I tried again. Not Authorized. The manager came over and tried manually. Still not authorized. It's showing a $0 balance. She asked if I'd like to try another form of payment. I don't have another form of payment. I was so embarrassed while I stood there watching the manager unload all of the groceries out of my cart leaving us with only a few cases of water and the pumpkins that I had enough cash to cover. :-( I felt so bad. I kept apologizing, to the cashier, to the manager, to the people in line behind me, to Dayna... I felt horrible.
Twice in One Year
Thursday, September 30th 2010
I got the mail out of the mail box on my way into the apartment for the evening. There was an envelope from Ocean County Courthouse - eviction paperwork! Twice in one year. Yay! *insert sarcasm here* :-/
Apparently, Social Services has not been paying part of my rent like they said they would when I was approved for temporary rent assistance.
I got the mail out of the mail box on my way into the apartment for the evening. There was an envelope from Ocean County Courthouse - eviction paperwork! Twice in one year. Yay! *insert sarcasm here* :-/
Apparently, Social Services has not been paying part of my rent like they said they would when I was approved for temporary rent assistance.
The Alero's Second Tow
Monday September 27th 2010
Around 5pm Dad called. The Alero was giving Marty problems. He asked if I needed the Pontiac tomorrow. I said no, I can rearrange my schedule so Marty can have it for work. I threw on clothes, brushed my hair, and headed to Dad's.
When I got there, Dad was sitting on the steps. He asked me to park down the corner because he called a tow truck for Marty. We chatted while we waited. Dad spoke to the tow truck guy. Then he called Marty and told him to call the tow truck. They couldn't find him.
When the tow truck got there, the Alero was unloaded in front of Dad's house. It wouldn't start. We pushed it closer to the curb. Dad couldn't see much in the dark so he said he'd work on it tomorrow. I drove Marty to put gas in the car, then we headed to my house with a pit stop at Pathmark for milk, CoffeeMate and a few other items to hold me over until I get the car back.
Thursday, September 30th 2010
Marty texted me, Dad's done with the Alero. I did a quick workout, showered and dressed. Marty picked me up, we went to Dad's so Marty could pick up the car, then we met up with an old friend at TGI Fridays. It was good catching up. It's been a good decade since we saw our friend. Facebook is wonderful for finding people you've lost track of.
Around 5pm Dad called. The Alero was giving Marty problems. He asked if I needed the Pontiac tomorrow. I said no, I can rearrange my schedule so Marty can have it for work. I threw on clothes, brushed my hair, and headed to Dad's.
When I got there, Dad was sitting on the steps. He asked me to park down the corner because he called a tow truck for Marty. We chatted while we waited. Dad spoke to the tow truck guy. Then he called Marty and told him to call the tow truck. They couldn't find him.
When the tow truck got there, the Alero was unloaded in front of Dad's house. It wouldn't start. We pushed it closer to the curb. Dad couldn't see much in the dark so he said he'd work on it tomorrow. I drove Marty to put gas in the car, then we headed to my house with a pit stop at Pathmark for milk, CoffeeMate and a few other items to hold me over until I get the car back.
Thursday, September 30th 2010
Marty texted me, Dad's done with the Alero. I did a quick workout, showered and dressed. Marty picked me up, we went to Dad's so Marty could pick up the car, then we met up with an old friend at TGI Fridays. It was good catching up. It's been a good decade since we saw our friend. Facebook is wonderful for finding people you've lost track of.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Housing Contacts
Wednesday, September 22nd 2010
I spent 4 hours doing housing searches. I made a few phone calls. I am basically looking for something affordable from here north. I am looking to be close to the Garden State Parkway so the travel to see Dayna and bring her back to her dad's is not awful. I have looked a bit north and west of her dad's house too. I'd like to be within a half hour, ideally. That seems to put me between Matawan and Bloomfield, and a bit of eastern Morris County. I'd prefer not to be in a "bad" neighborhood since I will have Dayna as often as I do. She'd like me in Elizabeth so I am in the same town and she'd be able to come over sometimes after school.
I found several websites to help me with my research. I applied for information on a few of them. I took advantage of resource links posted on some sites to find my way to other helpful sites. There are a few management and development companies that have multiple properties. Those were helpful for finding options.
I still have to find info about the housing authorities, public housing, and section 8 applications. Sigh! It's a process!
I spent 4 hours doing housing searches. I made a few phone calls. I am basically looking for something affordable from here north. I am looking to be close to the Garden State Parkway so the travel to see Dayna and bring her back to her dad's is not awful. I have looked a bit north and west of her dad's house too. I'd like to be within a half hour, ideally. That seems to put me between Matawan and Bloomfield, and a bit of eastern Morris County. I'd prefer not to be in a "bad" neighborhood since I will have Dayna as often as I do. She'd like me in Elizabeth so I am in the same town and she'd be able to come over sometimes after school.
I found several websites to help me with my research. I applied for information on a few of them. I took advantage of resource links posted on some sites to find my way to other helpful sites. There are a few management and development companies that have multiple properties. Those were helpful for finding options.
I still have to find info about the housing authorities, public housing, and section 8 applications. Sigh! It's a process!
Insomnia and Migraine
5:10am and I still can't sleep. I have been trying since 1am. I toss and turn, my back hurts, I toss some more - I just can't get comfortable! I got up again. On the scale of 0 -10 with 0 being no pain and 10 being the worst pain, my lower back is about a 7. I'm having some difficulty standing and walking. Maybe that's a factor in why I can't sleep. I took 2mg of Dilaudid that was left over from when I had my gallbladder out a year and a half ago. I know it's old, but I am hoping it is still effective. I'll read some more of InkDeath and try again.
I FINALLY fell asleep around 7:30am. I woke up a little before 4pm with a heck of a headache. I took 500mg of Tylenol hoping it'd help. 8pm I still had the pesky headache. On the 0 - 10 scale it's aching around a 5. That's better than the 7 it was, but still rather uncomfortable.
9:30pm Pesky Headache has turned into a full blown migraine. Joy! It's a 7 on the pain scale and escalating rapidly. I took Dilaudid. I don't want this to get worse to the point I am crying and need the ER. My stomach is upset, I am sensitive to light and sounds, my head is throbbing...ugh! My head feels hot...warm, wooshy side effect of the pain med?
10pm Headache is still a 6-7 on the pain scale. At least it didn't get any worse! To give an idea to those who are not frequent pain sufferers, Dilaudid is a synthetic pain medicine. 1mg is approximately equianalgesic to about 5 mg of Morphine. I took 2mg for a headache of a 7 on the pain scale (equivalent to 10mg morphine) and it basically just prevented the headache from getting worse. That's one heck of a headache! (I know Veronica can relate.)
I FINALLY fell asleep around 7:30am. I woke up a little before 4pm with a heck of a headache. I took 500mg of Tylenol hoping it'd help. 8pm I still had the pesky headache. On the 0 - 10 scale it's aching around a 5. That's better than the 7 it was, but still rather uncomfortable.
9:30pm Pesky Headache has turned into a full blown migraine. Joy! It's a 7 on the pain scale and escalating rapidly. I took Dilaudid. I don't want this to get worse to the point I am crying and need the ER. My stomach is upset, I am sensitive to light and sounds, my head is throbbing...ugh! My head feels hot...warm, wooshy side effect of the pain med?
10pm Headache is still a 6-7 on the pain scale. At least it didn't get any worse! To give an idea to those who are not frequent pain sufferers, Dilaudid is a synthetic pain medicine. 1mg is approximately equianalgesic to about 5 mg of Morphine. I took 2mg for a headache of a 7 on the pain scale (equivalent to 10mg morphine) and it basically just prevented the headache from getting worse. That's one heck of a headache! (I know Veronica can relate.)
T-Tapp
Monday, September 20th 2010
I did my T-Tapp nworkout tonight. I feel accomplished, energized, and a bit sore. But at least it's a good muscle soreness, not an "I didn't do anything and hurt" kind of pain. I yanked out the instructional tapes. I made it all the way through Instructional Tape 1 with just a decrease in a few reps of two exercises.
Tuesday, September 21st 2010
I began with Instructional Tape 2 tonight. I got through most of it. I decreased the reps on the Lunges, Balance Sequence and Thread The Needle. (see http://www.t-tapp.com/ for more information on this workout.) I stopped after the Arms Sequence. I just didn't have anymore energy or strength left in me and I didn't want to push my back further. I hurt! But again, it's an accomplished type of hurt, which is always better than hurting doing nothing.
Wednesday, September 22nd 2010
Day 3 of bootcamp! I did Instructional Tape 2 again. I made it as far as yesterday, through the Arms Sequence. It's so hard to keep going. Once I am done I feel that good, tingly, muscle soreness that let's me know it's effective. I need to take LOTS of water breaks and sit to rest my back in between exercises more than I'd like to, but at least I am plugging away and barreling through it. Hopefully soon I'll see results!
Thursday, September 23rd 2010
I did the Instructional Video 2 again, but I made it through Torso Twist! It came a bit easier tonight. It was like my muscles remembered exaactly what they were supposed to do and just ran through it without thinking. I did almost all of the lunges and cut them short because of some ankle pain, not leg fatigue. I only did 4 reps of weach segment of the Balance Sequence because my hips were hurting the past few days. I did all of the U-Swings and 6 reps of Thread the Needle. I did the Arms Sequence sitting down again, and I even pulled off a set of Hoe Downs! Talk about feeling accomplished!
Friday, September 24th 2010
As much as the T-Tapp workouts are hard and hurt, I feel better doing them again. I can tell I am getting stronger. I feel it in my legs and my back. If only I felt it more in my tummy - that's why I am trying to do the ab portion at least every other day, if not everyday. After four days in a row, I feel like I might be slimmning a bit, not much, but it might just be better posture and carriage.
I did my T-Tapp nworkout tonight. I feel accomplished, energized, and a bit sore. But at least it's a good muscle soreness, not an "I didn't do anything and hurt" kind of pain. I yanked out the instructional tapes. I made it all the way through Instructional Tape 1 with just a decrease in a few reps of two exercises.
Tuesday, September 21st 2010
I began with Instructional Tape 2 tonight. I got through most of it. I decreased the reps on the Lunges, Balance Sequence and Thread The Needle. (see http://www.t-tapp.com/ for more information on this workout.) I stopped after the Arms Sequence. I just didn't have anymore energy or strength left in me and I didn't want to push my back further. I hurt! But again, it's an accomplished type of hurt, which is always better than hurting doing nothing.
Wednesday, September 22nd 2010
Day 3 of bootcamp! I did Instructional Tape 2 again. I made it as far as yesterday, through the Arms Sequence. It's so hard to keep going. Once I am done I feel that good, tingly, muscle soreness that let's me know it's effective. I need to take LOTS of water breaks and sit to rest my back in between exercises more than I'd like to, but at least I am plugging away and barreling through it. Hopefully soon I'll see results!
Thursday, September 23rd 2010
I did the Instructional Video 2 again, but I made it through Torso Twist! It came a bit easier tonight. It was like my muscles remembered exaactly what they were supposed to do and just ran through it without thinking. I did almost all of the lunges and cut them short because of some ankle pain, not leg fatigue. I only did 4 reps of weach segment of the Balance Sequence because my hips were hurting the past few days. I did all of the U-Swings and 6 reps of Thread the Needle. I did the Arms Sequence sitting down again, and I even pulled off a set of Hoe Downs! Talk about feeling accomplished!
Friday, September 24th 2010
As much as the T-Tapp workouts are hard and hurt, I feel better doing them again. I can tell I am getting stronger. I feel it in my legs and my back. If only I felt it more in my tummy - that's why I am trying to do the ab portion at least every other day, if not everyday. After four days in a row, I feel like I might be slimmning a bit, not much, but it might just be better posture and carriage.
Transfer Options
Thursday, September 9th 2010
I spent the day running errands and researching 4 year colleges and universities to see what sort of degree programs are offered. I figure I don't want to stop at an associates degree, so it'd be a good idea to see what options I have for transfer. I also wanted to view curriculums so I can plan what courses to take now that would be beneficial to transferring credits.
I'm still very interested in the sciences. That's what my concentration was before I majored in Nursing. I don't want to give up all of my previous education and experience. I also don't want to pick a course load I will be overly bored with, or a career path I will be bored with in the hopes that I get some treatment for my back so I can go back to work at some point.
I figure I'll start at OCC under the liberal arts major, take a few classes, then switch over to a science major. I want to take French and some philosophy courses - specifically World Religions and a biomedical ethics course. They also have an Intro to Investing course I am interested in. They havce a Healthcare Law course that looked interesting. To cover a humanities elective I was looking into their Theatre courses. One involves trips, so that would be nice.
In my search for transfer schools I am drawn to Biochemistry, Microbiology and Molecular Biology. I should take General Biology and Chemistry, math through at least pre-Calculus, preferably Calculus 1 so I can start in on Physics. I'll have my work cut out for me if I can make this happen. Next step is researching companies and career opportunities to see what I can do with these degrees and help me narrow down where to go and for what.
Any other advice from those of you going through college or having been through it? I never had the opportunity to meet with guidance or career counseling in High School, and not much at Brookdale either. I'm kind of trying to find my way with whatever info I can get my hands on.
I spent the day running errands and researching 4 year colleges and universities to see what sort of degree programs are offered. I figure I don't want to stop at an associates degree, so it'd be a good idea to see what options I have for transfer. I also wanted to view curriculums so I can plan what courses to take now that would be beneficial to transferring credits.
I'm still very interested in the sciences. That's what my concentration was before I majored in Nursing. I don't want to give up all of my previous education and experience. I also don't want to pick a course load I will be overly bored with, or a career path I will be bored with in the hopes that I get some treatment for my back so I can go back to work at some point.
I figure I'll start at OCC under the liberal arts major, take a few classes, then switch over to a science major. I want to take French and some philosophy courses - specifically World Religions and a biomedical ethics course. They also have an Intro to Investing course I am interested in. They havce a Healthcare Law course that looked interesting. To cover a humanities elective I was looking into their Theatre courses. One involves trips, so that would be nice.
In my search for transfer schools I am drawn to Biochemistry, Microbiology and Molecular Biology. I should take General Biology and Chemistry, math through at least pre-Calculus, preferably Calculus 1 so I can start in on Physics. I'll have my work cut out for me if I can make this happen. Next step is researching companies and career opportunities to see what I can do with these degrees and help me narrow down where to go and for what.
Any other advice from those of you going through college or having been through it? I never had the opportunity to meet with guidance or career counseling in High School, and not much at Brookdale either. I'm kind of trying to find my way with whatever info I can get my hands on.
Book Quotes
I've come across a few more words of wisdom during my reading this past month.
From the Inkheart trilogy, Cornelia Funke, I can't remember which book:
From The Cat Who Saw Stars, Lilian Jackson Braun:
From the Inkheart trilogy, Cornelia Funke, I can't remember which book:
Books have to be heavy because a whole world is inside them.
From The Cat Who Saw Stars, Lilian Jackson Braun:
There's nothing wrong with a little local color to relieve the mnotony of good English.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Samsung Gravity
So far I am liking my new phone. It's much better than the LG Rumor I had. The Rumor liked to spontaneously turn itself on and off as if possessed by the Evil Cell Phone Demon. The Gravity stays on. It's nice.
Usually, I get a new phone and it takes me two years to figure out how to work it. Then the cell place tells me I should upgrade. I get a new phone even though I haven't totally figured out the last phone. I read the books, it doesn't stick.
As usual, I read the instruction book that came with my phone (stop laughing Chris). I doubt I will remember all of the features and how to use them. I can make calls. I can text message. I even found the speakerphone this week.
The book even has other useful information. I'd like to share it with you all now so we all use our phones safely.
Usually, I get a new phone and it takes me two years to figure out how to work it. Then the cell place tells me I should upgrade. I get a new phone even though I haven't totally figured out the last phone. I read the books, it doesn't stick.
As usual, I read the instruction book that came with my phone (stop laughing Chris). I doubt I will remember all of the features and how to use them. I can make calls. I can text message. I even found the speakerphone this week.
The book even has other useful information. I'd like to share it with you all now so we all use our phones safely.
CARING FOR YOUR PHONE
- Phones aren't cheap, so keep yours in a safe place - away from children who may find it fun to see if the phne sinks or floats, and away from dogs who find plastic-coated products to be irresistible chew toys.
- Water will damage your phone and accessories - even a small amount such as water droplets from your soda in your car cup holder, melting snowflakes, tears of joy, squirt-gun crossfire or steam from the kitchen or bathroom.
- Use only batteries and accessories from the original manufacturer of your phone. Non-approved accessories can cause damage to you or your phone. Hint : If it's being sold out of someone's car trunk, walk away.
- If your charger or other accessory is damaged, replace it, or take it to a qualified service dealer. Do not attempt to operate your phone charger if it has received a sharp blow, been dropped, thrown from a speeding motorcycle or is otherwise damaged; doing so may damage your phone.
Keep your phone closed. If it rings and you discover it's in the backseat, do NOT crawl over the seat to answer it while driving.Now that I have shared those tips with you, I feel confident we can all go on using our cell phones in the safest manner possible!
Cell disconnect
Thursday, September 9th 2010
My phone was disconnected this week. It was the plan I have had for YEARS. About a year and a half ago, I added Bret's line onto my account to try to save us some money. Despite everyone telling me to cancel his phone, I left it on because he was paying half the bill. This month when the bill was due, I text messaged him as usual. A week later he still hadn't paid anything. I received the text message about the bill being overdue. I forwarded it to him. I assumed he'd take care of it when he could and didn't want to be a pest. Last week I got the "Your phone is going to be disconnected" message. Hmmm. I forwarded it to him. He FINALLY replied. "I lost my job, I'm broke, I have no where to live, I am moving with family in Texas." Would have been nice to know BEFORE my phone got shut off!
There was much crying my eyes out trying to figure out how I was going to keep in touch with Dayna, how I was going to call for doctor's appointments, how I was going to make calls to find permanent housing (I'm still required to make contacts to find either section 8 or low-income housing), and basically just stay connected since I am an hour away from family and don't have the money to just jump in the car and pay tolls to go check up with people, and I don't expect them to just show up on my door (only two people do that - Dad when he has a car, and Aunt Marie :-).
I called Marty. He told me about his phone plan, said he can get an old phone from a friend and buy a SIM card for $5 and get me going for 20 bucks.
I called Dad, he had another idea. He told me to call T-Mobile and see about adding a line to his account. Yay Dad! So my phone got shut off, I made a surprise visit to Dad. We got in the car and went to the T-Mobile store. He was due for an upgrade, he got a new phone (and is still figuring out how to use it, he finally found the volume button 9/20/10). I told the girl I was looking for a phone with a keyboard and text capabilities. Dad said to get text messaging, I was grateful. I got a Samsung Gravity.
Then Dad told the girl he wanted one of those things to hook the computer up to the internet. Hence how I am online now! Voila, le WebConnect Rocket! The girl scanned a few things, told me it was a piece of cake, installs itself, good to go. I ported my old Sprint phone number so my phone won't work until tomorrow, but the Rocket is ready to go.
The Rocket was not ready to go. I got home, it installed itself like she said it would, but it said it was running on my cell number. :-/ Weird. Next day, phone says "Emergency Calls Only." :-/ Weird. This isn't good.
No phone, no internet, no phone book...into the car I go for an hour drive to Hazlet where I know there's a T-Mobile store (we were just in it yesterday), $2 in tolls... The girl put the wrong SIM card in the Web Connect. The other girl switched the SIM cards, said I should be good to go, phone worked, wonderful! Off I went.
The WebConnect still wasn't working. This is ridiculous.
Saturday, September 11th I went back to the T-Mobile store. He gave me a new SIM card, said since Dad wasn't with me he couldn't do anything, but I can call up customer care and have them activate it. Customer Care is apparently closed on Sundays. It was late Saturday when I got the card so I waited until Sunday. Monday morning I tried again, a pulse! Sympathy, but not the brightest light bulb in the bunch. Need Dad's social or a password to do anything. Called Dad. Got the magic digits. Called Customer Care back, asked for tech support, a pulse attached to a brain! The SIM card was activated and the WebConnect is now working!
My phone was disconnected this week. It was the plan I have had for YEARS. About a year and a half ago, I added Bret's line onto my account to try to save us some money. Despite everyone telling me to cancel his phone, I left it on because he was paying half the bill. This month when the bill was due, I text messaged him as usual. A week later he still hadn't paid anything. I received the text message about the bill being overdue. I forwarded it to him. I assumed he'd take care of it when he could and didn't want to be a pest. Last week I got the "Your phone is going to be disconnected" message. Hmmm. I forwarded it to him. He FINALLY replied. "I lost my job, I'm broke, I have no where to live, I am moving with family in Texas." Would have been nice to know BEFORE my phone got shut off!
There was much crying my eyes out trying to figure out how I was going to keep in touch with Dayna, how I was going to call for doctor's appointments, how I was going to make calls to find permanent housing (I'm still required to make contacts to find either section 8 or low-income housing), and basically just stay connected since I am an hour away from family and don't have the money to just jump in the car and pay tolls to go check up with people, and I don't expect them to just show up on my door (only two people do that - Dad when he has a car, and Aunt Marie :-).
I called Marty. He told me about his phone plan, said he can get an old phone from a friend and buy a SIM card for $5 and get me going for 20 bucks.
I called Dad, he had another idea. He told me to call T-Mobile and see about adding a line to his account. Yay Dad! So my phone got shut off, I made a surprise visit to Dad. We got in the car and went to the T-Mobile store. He was due for an upgrade, he got a new phone (and is still figuring out how to use it, he finally found the volume button 9/20/10). I told the girl I was looking for a phone with a keyboard and text capabilities. Dad said to get text messaging, I was grateful. I got a Samsung Gravity.
Then Dad told the girl he wanted one of those things to hook the computer up to the internet. Hence how I am online now! Voila, le WebConnect Rocket! The girl scanned a few things, told me it was a piece of cake, installs itself, good to go. I ported my old Sprint phone number so my phone won't work until tomorrow, but the Rocket is ready to go.
The Rocket was not ready to go. I got home, it installed itself like she said it would, but it said it was running on my cell number. :-/ Weird. Next day, phone says "Emergency Calls Only." :-/ Weird. This isn't good.
No phone, no internet, no phone book...into the car I go for an hour drive to Hazlet where I know there's a T-Mobile store (we were just in it yesterday), $2 in tolls... The girl put the wrong SIM card in the Web Connect. The other girl switched the SIM cards, said I should be good to go, phone worked, wonderful! Off I went.
The WebConnect still wasn't working. This is ridiculous.
Saturday, September 11th I went back to the T-Mobile store. He gave me a new SIM card, said since Dad wasn't with me he couldn't do anything, but I can call up customer care and have them activate it. Customer Care is apparently closed on Sundays. It was late Saturday when I got the card so I waited until Sunday. Monday morning I tried again, a pulse! Sympathy, but not the brightest light bulb in the bunch. Need Dad's social or a password to do anything. Called Dad. Got the magic digits. Called Customer Care back, asked for tech support, a pulse attached to a brain! The SIM card was activated and the WebConnect is now working!
OCC
Tuesday, September 7th 2010
I went to Ocean County College and picked up an application. I spoke to a lady in the advising office. She asked which program I was interested in. I told her I wasn't sure yet, probably liberal arts to start and then take a few courses to figure it out. She said a lot of people do that. She gave me a list of required courses for the liberal arts major and a list of approved general education courses. According to that paperwork, I am 3 courses away from a liberal arts degree if all of Brookdale were to transfer in :-) It's been 11 years since I started Brookdale, so I doubt everything would transfer. I'll probably have to retake English. (What do you think? Do I need a writing course?) I think Public Speaking is required everywhere now, so I'll need to take that, and possibly an updated computer literacy course just to prove I know how to turn the thing on and type :-)
I went to Ocean County College and picked up an application. I spoke to a lady in the advising office. She asked which program I was interested in. I told her I wasn't sure yet, probably liberal arts to start and then take a few courses to figure it out. She said a lot of people do that. She gave me a list of required courses for the liberal arts major and a list of approved general education courses. According to that paperwork, I am 3 courses away from a liberal arts degree if all of Brookdale were to transfer in :-) It's been 11 years since I started Brookdale, so I doubt everything would transfer. I'll probably have to retake English. (What do you think? Do I need a writing course?) I think Public Speaking is required everywhere now, so I'll need to take that, and possibly an updated computer literacy course just to prove I know how to turn the thing on and type :-)
Why don't people believe me?
Friday, September 3rd 2010
I saw the doctor today. He insists my disability was approved because I am bipolar and not because there's anything wrong with my back. He showed me my Med-1 from Social Services where he wrote that I have a "severe mental disorder." I accept that. I'm living with it. But that does not mean my physical pain and ailments do not exist. Next time I have an appointment with him, I've half a mind to bring him a slew of MRI, EMG, and ultrasound reports to PROVE I have other issues and they are not all in my head. (I am aware some of my issues are in my head - anxiety, depression, etc. But I am not psycho or stupid.)
I was so upset after that appojntment that I came home nearly in tearsw and went back to bed. That's my way of coping, my "do over."
I saw the doctor today. He insists my disability was approved because I am bipolar and not because there's anything wrong with my back. He showed me my Med-1 from Social Services where he wrote that I have a "severe mental disorder." I accept that. I'm living with it. But that does not mean my physical pain and ailments do not exist. Next time I have an appointment with him, I've half a mind to bring him a slew of MRI, EMG, and ultrasound reports to PROVE I have other issues and they are not all in my head. (I am aware some of my issues are in my head - anxiety, depression, etc. But I am not psycho or stupid.)
I was so upset after that appojntment that I came home nearly in tearsw and went back to bed. That's my way of coping, my "do over."
From Library to College?
Wednesday, September 1st 2010
I went to the library to use the computer. I updated my blog and found a few books to borrow. I have read way too much these past few months. July 31st I checked out Eragon. Since then, I have read Eragon, Eldest, Brisingr, Wicked Lovely, Ink Exchange, Inkheart, Inkspell, and now am 3/4 of the way through Inkdeath, and I'll read Fragile Eternity once Dayna finishes it and gives it back. That's 8 books in 2 months.
As I was leaving the library, I saw a fall schedule for Ocean County College. I picked it up. It was there, I saw it and figured maybe it can give me an idea of what I can still do. I've been going nuts in the house. I am too young to sit idle. Maybe taking a class or two would be good. The doctor advised me to join a group to get out of the house and socialize, I'd rather take a class than sit in adult day care (blech!).
I went to the library to use the computer. I updated my blog and found a few books to borrow. I have read way too much these past few months. July 31st I checked out Eragon. Since then, I have read Eragon, Eldest, Brisingr, Wicked Lovely, Ink Exchange, Inkheart, Inkspell, and now am 3/4 of the way through Inkdeath, and I'll read Fragile Eternity once Dayna finishes it and gives it back. That's 8 books in 2 months.
As I was leaving the library, I saw a fall schedule for Ocean County College. I picked it up. It was there, I saw it and figured maybe it can give me an idea of what I can still do. I've been going nuts in the house. I am too young to sit idle. Maybe taking a class or two would be good. The doctor advised me to join a group to get out of the house and socialize, I'd rather take a class than sit in adult day care (blech!).
Monday, September 6, 2010
Inkheart
Saturday, August 28th 2010
Dayna took off to see a movie with her friend K. That left me all along to go food shopping and read. I began reading Inheart by Cornelia Funke. It starts off different from the movie. Dustfinger goes to Mo and Meggie's house to warn him of Capricorn trying to find him. They run the next morning to Aunt Elinor's in Italy. Dustfinger accompanies them.
In the movie, it starts off with Mo and Meggie in the van searching bookstores for a copy of Inkheart. Dustfinger finds Meggie outside one while Mo is in the store. I'm excited to see what other differences there are.
It seems lately that all the good movies are based on books. That's great news for bookworms like me and Dayna. I'm sure it helps motivate people to read, too. I guess Hollywood has trouble finding good screenplays. Are we running out of creative ideas? Have they all been used up so the writers have run dry? Or has modern technology caused a total lack of imagination in today's generation?
Saturday, September 4th 2010
SSD Hearing
Thursday, August 26th 2010
Mom took me to Perkins to celebrate for lunch. Then I came home and took a nap!
I had a LOT of trouble trying to sleep last night. I think it was 3am by the time I finally fell asleep. I woke up when the alarm went off at 6am. I had set three alarms, just in case. I had some coffee, called mom to let her know I was up, and jumped in the shower. I put on a pair of black dress slacks, a black short-sleeved top, and my leather boots. Mom arrived. I quickly threw on some makeup and did my hair. We replenished our coffee to bring with us.
After stopping for a measly $5 of gas, we were on our way to Voorhees. Mom brought her GPS. We punched in the address and followed the verbal "You're going the wrong way," reprimands while leaving the gas station.
I missed the exit for route 73 amid all of the road construction. The GPS scolded me. She recalculated. She got confused when I made a U-Turn in a ShopRite parking lot. She recalculated again. We were off and running... the right way now.
We arrived at 9:02am. My attorney was outside on the phone. We went in, announced our arrival to the security guard at the desk, and waited. I stepped outside with my attorney to discuss things. He mentioned some of my medical records he received. One of them noted "alternating laughing and crying spells." I'd love to see what else it says about how I've lost my mind this year. (At least it's coming back...)
We waited two hours to be called. When it was my turn, we went into a little room with a table, a computer, two microphones in front of the chairs, and a HUGE TV monitor. My attorney popped in a disc they gave him and all of my information came up on the screen. He took out a pad and pen, and we waited.
The judge held up a remote and aimed it at the monitor. He said, "Good Morning," and asked if we were ready to begin. My attorney responded. I was very nervous. I kept fidgeting - both nerves and my back hurt from sitting in a not- very- comfortable chair while we were waiting.
The hearing began with an internal medicine doctor testifying on my back condition. He had a thick accent. I caught important words like, "herniated discs," "nerve damage," and "stenosis." He evidenced my ailments with a list of numbers. The judge asked the doctor if, in his opinion, my condition was sufficient to meet the social security definition of disabled. The doctor said, "Yes." A psychiatrist testified on my depression and anxiety issues. Then they addressed a vocational expert. He ran through some of my previous employments. He said I probably acquired some transferable skills. He also testified that in light of my back condition, it was unlikely that I would be able to sustain gainful employment in this economy.
The judge recessed for 5 minutes. We could see them on the screen, but we couldn't hear them. When he turned the volume back on, he said he was going to issue a bench decision. He read off a lot of information, "for the record," then he addressed me and said, "I am going to approve your claim for disability and SSI."
We're Dangerous Around Books
Wednesday, August 25th 2010
We decided to go to the library to return the HUGE stack of books we've had for two weeks. Dayna had 11, I had two. I love having a kid who reads. I am glad I helped instill that joy in her. As always, we checked out another stack. She'll probably have her's done by Friday. She talked me into Wicked Lovely by Melissa Marr.
After the library, Dayna said she wasn't sure she could limit her back to school shopping to what we had, and the bank was closed, so she asked to go to Barnes and Noble instead. We're living dangerously...
She looked at several Manga's. They didn't have the last Fruits Basket volume. They didn't have another one she was looking for. She did find two she wanted. Then we hit the teen section. I wasn't able to find Eragon in the Fantasy section, there it was in teen, just as Dayna suggested. I read an exerpt from book 4. Dayna grabbed another book she wanted and eyeballed another, waiting for it to come out in paperback to add to the rest of the series she already owns.
On our way to the registers, we passed the "Required Summer Reading" tables. They had Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbuy. I remembered reading it in Freshman Honors English. For $6, we bought that too.
On the way back home, we goofed off in the car again. I went to say two things at once and it came out jumbled as one very silly word. The two of us laughed so hard. We started combining other words to make funny words. I took a detour past one of Dayna's friend's house to avoid traffic. Over a year ago, when we were passing it one day, I said, "Shoot them a smile!" Dayna misheard me and thought I said, "Shoot them AND smile." We still laugh about it to this day whenever we pass by. :-)
We decided to go to the library to return the HUGE stack of books we've had for two weeks. Dayna had 11, I had two. I love having a kid who reads. I am glad I helped instill that joy in her. As always, we checked out another stack. She'll probably have her's done by Friday. She talked me into Wicked Lovely by Melissa Marr.
After the library, Dayna said she wasn't sure she could limit her back to school shopping to what we had, and the bank was closed, so she asked to go to Barnes and Noble instead. We're living dangerously...
She looked at several Manga's. They didn't have the last Fruits Basket volume. They didn't have another one she was looking for. She did find two she wanted. Then we hit the teen section. I wasn't able to find Eragon in the Fantasy section, there it was in teen, just as Dayna suggested. I read an exerpt from book 4. Dayna grabbed another book she wanted and eyeballed another, waiting for it to come out in paperback to add to the rest of the series she already owns.
On our way to the registers, we passed the "Required Summer Reading" tables. They had Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbuy. I remembered reading it in Freshman Honors English. For $6, we bought that too.
On the way back home, we goofed off in the car again. I went to say two things at once and it came out jumbled as one very silly word. The two of us laughed so hard. We started combining other words to make funny words. I took a detour past one of Dayna's friend's house to avoid traffic. Over a year ago, when we were passing it one day, I said, "Shoot them a smile!" Dayna misheard me and thought I said, "Shoot them AND smile." We still laugh about it to this day whenever we pass by. :-)
Cha-Chink, Cha-Chink!
Monday, August 23rd 2010
I had trouble sleeping again last night. I woke up late - around 1pm. After a few cups of coffee, I got a bit productive. I called the pharmacy to see if my meds were ready. I called to make a pain management appointment. I'm not in their computer system. The pain mgmt dept wasn't answering the line when the appointment setter called. They asked me to try again in 10 minutes. I called back. Still no luck. The girl ran up there and spoke to someone, they advised her to tell me they would call me back.
I wrote out a bank withdrawal ticket, threw my agenda and phone in my purse, and got ready to leave. I went to the bank. I went to the gas station. I stopped at Roy Rogers because I realized I forgot to eat. I went to the pharmacy to pick up my meds. Then I jumped on the parkway and headed north to pick up Dayna.
I pulled up as her dad was stepping outside. He hadn't realized I was on my way. I went up to Dayna's room. She was napping. I woke her up. I used her computer to find the post office. She grabbed her library books, put on flip flops, and her dad gave her the IO Box with her movies.
We chatted in the car, as usual. She sang me the English version of a Japanese song she likes. She's very into Japanese anime, manga's (comic books), and culture. We goofed off some, also as usual.
When we were approaching the Driscoll Bridge and Raritan tolls, I asked her to get me change for the toll. I asked her to use as many nickles and dimes as possible. She handed me 11 coins. I said, "Oh boy! This thing is going to love us!" I'd hate to be the car behind us.
*CLANG! Cha-chink, cha-chink, cha-chink, cha-chink, etc; "Paid, Thank You"*
After that we laughed about what it would be like to dump in a zip-lock bag of pennies - cha-chink, cha-chink, cha-chink, cha-chink...we'd have to come late at night when there's no traffic and put our hazards on :-) Or what if we sat there and threw them in one penny at a time - 1... 2... 3... ...98... 99... 100... wait for it... *toss* 100... wait for it... *toss* maybe 100?... Darn! I lost count! 1... 2... 3... :-)
I asked Dayna what she'd like to do. I said, "We have to go to the Post Office, what else would you like to do?" She said she didn't know. I said, "Ok, maybe the post office, clothes shopping..." She replied, "Great! Post Office clothes!" It took me a second, then I burst out laughing and said, "Yes, we will go clothes shopping at the post office!" realizing she was not acknowledging my inferred verbal comma.
When we got home, we ordered Chinese, she hooked up the IO Box, I took out the garbage, we moved the coffee table frame and the "Back - To - Storage" bedding box. We watched Eclipse while we waited and while we ate. Then it was time for bed.
I had trouble sleeping again last night. I woke up late - around 1pm. After a few cups of coffee, I got a bit productive. I called the pharmacy to see if my meds were ready. I called to make a pain management appointment. I'm not in their computer system. The pain mgmt dept wasn't answering the line when the appointment setter called. They asked me to try again in 10 minutes. I called back. Still no luck. The girl ran up there and spoke to someone, they advised her to tell me they would call me back.
I wrote out a bank withdrawal ticket, threw my agenda and phone in my purse, and got ready to leave. I went to the bank. I went to the gas station. I stopped at Roy Rogers because I realized I forgot to eat. I went to the pharmacy to pick up my meds. Then I jumped on the parkway and headed north to pick up Dayna.
I pulled up as her dad was stepping outside. He hadn't realized I was on my way. I went up to Dayna's room. She was napping. I woke her up. I used her computer to find the post office. She grabbed her library books, put on flip flops, and her dad gave her the IO Box with her movies.
We chatted in the car, as usual. She sang me the English version of a Japanese song she likes. She's very into Japanese anime, manga's (comic books), and culture. We goofed off some, also as usual.
When we were approaching the Driscoll Bridge and Raritan tolls, I asked her to get me change for the toll. I asked her to use as many nickles and dimes as possible. She handed me 11 coins. I said, "Oh boy! This thing is going to love us!" I'd hate to be the car behind us.
*CLANG! Cha-chink, cha-chink, cha-chink, cha-chink, etc; "Paid, Thank You"*
After that we laughed about what it would be like to dump in a zip-lock bag of pennies - cha-chink, cha-chink, cha-chink, cha-chink...we'd have to come late at night when there's no traffic and put our hazards on :-) Or what if we sat there and threw them in one penny at a time - 1... 2... 3... ...98... 99... 100... wait for it... *toss* 100... wait for it... *toss* maybe 100?... Darn! I lost count! 1... 2... 3... :-)
I asked Dayna what she'd like to do. I said, "We have to go to the Post Office, what else would you like to do?" She said she didn't know. I said, "Ok, maybe the post office, clothes shopping..." She replied, "Great! Post Office clothes!" It took me a second, then I burst out laughing and said, "Yes, we will go clothes shopping at the post office!" realizing she was not acknowledging my inferred verbal comma.
When we got home, we ordered Chinese, she hooked up the IO Box, I took out the garbage, we moved the coffee table frame and the "Back - To - Storage" bedding box. We watched Eclipse while we waited and while we ate. Then it was time for bed.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Sunday Dinner
Sunday, August 22nd 2010
After waking up with coffee and reading, I realized how tired I still was. I went back to bed for a nap before Marty and Dad were coming for dinner. Dayna texted me that she decided she did not want Uncle Marty to pick her up. I'll have to go get her tomorrow, I don't have the time today and she doesn't want her Dad taking her home.
In the afternoon I sent Marty a text to let him know. He was just getting up. An hour and a half later, Dad called to tell me Marty still hadn't picked him up. I called Marty, he was talking to Tara. I hated to interrupt him.
It was about 6pm when they got here. Dinner was just about done. We had tilapia, rice, and California Blend veggies (Broccoli, Cauliflower, and Carrots). I had a salad on the table already and ice cream in the freezer for dessert. I bought Blue Bunny Coffee Break and Vanilla.
Dad and Marty enjoyed dinner. We chatted. Dad talked about the differences in Bible versions. We talked about Marty's new job starting the 30th (Yay!). Marty mentioned he needed new clothes, Dad offered to help him. We talked about my upcoming hearing and how all I know is there is a judge, two medical experts, and a vocational expert via videoconference.
Marty set up his laptop and showed Dad an aerial view of the area in Canada his property is in. Dad said it looked like Marty got a good shot of the neighbors lot. Marty said he'd play around this week and see if he can get Dad's land better.
Dad talked about Canada. The town his land is in about one block long with no traffic light. He talked about their health care system and what they say it costs per person annually...and how the USA's system costs double and provides less services. We talked about other countries systems as well - France, Italy, Britain. Marty commented on how Tara says things are in Scotland.
Dad went into a bit of a history lesson. He spoke of how other countries were formed and explorers. We discussed Columbus, Champlain, and Hudson. It always amazes me how much he knows of history and how he can just recall it all off the top of his head with no advanced preparation. He put on a lecture on Ancient Egypt and discussed the course with us. It's one of his college tapes that he mail orders. It was pretty good.
Marty put on a Jeff Dunham comedy routine. Dad said he was a good ventriloquist, but it didn't really seem to be his cup of tea. marty switched to The A-Team. Marty checked out a few of my DVD's.
They left at 1am. It was a good visit. marty asked what I am making next week. :-) I guess this is going to be a weekly thing!
After waking up with coffee and reading, I realized how tired I still was. I went back to bed for a nap before Marty and Dad were coming for dinner. Dayna texted me that she decided she did not want Uncle Marty to pick her up. I'll have to go get her tomorrow, I don't have the time today and she doesn't want her Dad taking her home.
In the afternoon I sent Marty a text to let him know. He was just getting up. An hour and a half later, Dad called to tell me Marty still hadn't picked him up. I called Marty, he was talking to Tara. I hated to interrupt him.
It was about 6pm when they got here. Dinner was just about done. We had tilapia, rice, and California Blend veggies (Broccoli, Cauliflower, and Carrots). I had a salad on the table already and ice cream in the freezer for dessert. I bought Blue Bunny Coffee Break and Vanilla.
Dad and Marty enjoyed dinner. We chatted. Dad talked about the differences in Bible versions. We talked about Marty's new job starting the 30th (Yay!). Marty mentioned he needed new clothes, Dad offered to help him. We talked about my upcoming hearing and how all I know is there is a judge, two medical experts, and a vocational expert via videoconference.
Marty set up his laptop and showed Dad an aerial view of the area in Canada his property is in. Dad said it looked like Marty got a good shot of the neighbors lot. Marty said he'd play around this week and see if he can get Dad's land better.
Dad talked about Canada. The town his land is in about one block long with no traffic light. He talked about their health care system and what they say it costs per person annually...and how the USA's system costs double and provides less services. We talked about other countries systems as well - France, Italy, Britain. Marty commented on how Tara says things are in Scotland.
Dad went into a bit of a history lesson. He spoke of how other countries were formed and explorers. We discussed Columbus, Champlain, and Hudson. It always amazes me how much he knows of history and how he can just recall it all off the top of his head with no advanced preparation. He put on a lecture on Ancient Egypt and discussed the course with us. It's one of his college tapes that he mail orders. It was pretty good.
Marty put on a Jeff Dunham comedy routine. Dad said he was a good ventriloquist, but it didn't really seem to be his cup of tea. marty switched to The A-Team. Marty checked out a few of my DVD's.
They left at 1am. It was a good visit. marty asked what I am making next week. :-) I guess this is going to be a weekly thing!
Unpacking
Saturday, August 21st 2010
I went on a bit of a tirade unpacking things. I finished unpacking the kitchen boxes - still can't find the apple tea cups. I packed a lot of it into the middle closet. There is no room in the kitchen.
I moved the netertainment center box and dusted the entertainment center. I dusted the bookshelf by the kitchen. I unpacked the box of Suze Orman and investing books. One of these days I'll have enough money to put them to use.
I opened the entertainment center box. There were board games on top. I put them in "Dayna's" closet in the bedroom. Under them were two wrapped items that I assumed were my porcelain dolls. I was right. Then I got dismayed. :-( Whoever packed this box, I don't know if it was Bret or one of his friends, they didn't wrap any of the other stuff and they didn't pack them so they wouldn't move. It was a mess! Stuff was bouncing all over willy-nilly, candle wax covered everything, and a candle holder was broken. I sent up a prayer to God thanking him for protecting everything else. It was nothing short of a miracle that the only casualty was a candle holder.
After 4 boxes, my back was protesting, so I called it quites. I sat and admired my work. I did a lot. I was proud of myself. I sat and read some before heading to bed.
I went on a bit of a tirade unpacking things. I finished unpacking the kitchen boxes - still can't find the apple tea cups. I packed a lot of it into the middle closet. There is no room in the kitchen.
I moved the netertainment center box and dusted the entertainment center. I dusted the bookshelf by the kitchen. I unpacked the box of Suze Orman and investing books. One of these days I'll have enough money to put them to use.
I opened the entertainment center box. There were board games on top. I put them in "Dayna's" closet in the bedroom. Under them were two wrapped items that I assumed were my porcelain dolls. I was right. Then I got dismayed. :-( Whoever packed this box, I don't know if it was Bret or one of his friends, they didn't wrap any of the other stuff and they didn't pack them so they wouldn't move. It was a mess! Stuff was bouncing all over willy-nilly, candle wax covered everything, and a candle holder was broken. I sent up a prayer to God thanking him for protecting everything else. It was nothing short of a miracle that the only casualty was a candle holder.
After 4 boxes, my back was protesting, so I called it quites. I sat and admired my work. I did a lot. I was proud of myself. I sat and read some before heading to bed.
Battlefield of the Mind
Thursday, August 19th 2010
I was flipping throug and read some more of the Battlefield of the Mind Devotional by Joyce Meyer. It's been a few months since I worked with it. As usual, my inspiration must have come from God because I read what I needed to hear. The few passages were regarding worry and anxiety. After the past few days, they were a welcome read. Her words brought some comfort as she quoted scripture, interpreted it with advice to apply it to life, and illustrated their use with past experiences of her own and others.
"For the mind to aid the spirit, we must learn to pull back from all the distractions around us."
"Even after you've been battered and tempted, God doesn't leave you. He remains with you to comfort you, to minister to your needs, and to encourage you. never forget that He is as close to you as the mention of His name."
"Unbelief will keep us from doing what God has called us and anointed us to accomplish in life. It will also hinder us from experiencing the sense of peace He wants us to enjoy as we find rest for our souls in Him."
"God treats us as though we are not, and have never been, sinners."
"All of us have had times when we wondered if we'd make it. But we did. So will you."
I was flipping throug and read some more of the Battlefield of the Mind Devotional by Joyce Meyer. It's been a few months since I worked with it. As usual, my inspiration must have come from God because I read what I needed to hear. The few passages were regarding worry and anxiety. After the past few days, they were a welcome read. Her words brought some comfort as she quoted scripture, interpreted it with advice to apply it to life, and illustrated their use with past experiences of her own and others.
"Where the mind goes, the man will follow. Keep your mind going in the right direction and your life will catch up with it. A person who has their faith firmly planted in God cannot be defeated."
"For the mind to aid the spirit, we must learn to pull back from all the distractions around us."
"We must learn to say, "Lord, I believe. I don't understand, and I could probably never grasp all the reasons why bad things happen, but I can know for certain that You love me and You are with me - always."
"Even after you've been battered and tempted, God doesn't leave you. He remains with you to comfort you, to minister to your needs, and to encourage you. never forget that He is as close to you as the mention of His name."
"Unbelief will keep us from doing what God has called us and anointed us to accomplish in life. It will also hinder us from experiencing the sense of peace He wants us to enjoy as we find rest for our souls in Him."
"It is the privilege of every believer to refuse to worry or have anxiety."
"God treats us as though we are not, and have never been, sinners."
"The devil never passes up the opportunity to remind us of our failures."
"All of us have had times when we wondered if we'd make it. But we did. So will you."
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Daring Dye-ing
Wednesday, August 18th 2010
I got daring tonight! I dyed my hair! I don't usually dye it, I've done it only about 4 times in my life, but like I said, I got daring! It's not much different, it's called Sandalwood. If nothing else it'll cover the few grays mom was kind enough to point out on Sunday.I knew they were there, I wasn't really worrying about them, they're not hugely noticeable. I bought the dye with Dayna last time we did her hair. I thought, maybe for a change. Well, I did it!
And now I'll have anxiety for the next 48 hours waiting for the delayed allergic reaction. I have only reacted once - to a perm in 5th grade; never to hair color. I've dyed mom's hair, and Dayna's hair, and inevitably got some on my skin without a reaction. But dopey me had the common sense to read the box and disregard the allergy test part thinking, "I've been exposed before without a reaction!" Watch, I've jinxed myself. (I never did have a reaction.) I had a bit of OCD and threw every towel I remotely touched in the laundry.
I've debated Xanax. I hate anxiety. :-( Why do I have this disorder? It interferes with life. It's bad enough I need pain meds and antidepressants, I hate having to take anxiety meds too. At least I am recognizing the symptoms now. That doesn't make the attacks any more pleasant or short lived.
Melancholy Recollections
I can't believe I am 32. It's an odd concept. I look back on the years and can recall what I was doing when I was doing it. I wonder how it went so fast. I wonder where all the time has gone. Some things I can recall and they feel like it was just yesterday, or last week. I can still recall how I felt.
I recall High School, and my moments of depression and reckless abandon. I can still remember how scared I was when I thought I was pregnant at 16. I remember the peace I felt when I meditated and knew, without a shadow of doubt, that I was and she was a girl. I can't explain how I knew, I just did.
I remember how scared I was an how isolated I felt during the pregnancy - as if I were a great shame that needed to be hidden. I never had the joy and anticipation that other mothers-to-be experience. Every discomfort was met with an air of, "Well, you're the one who went and got pregnant, deal with it." Many don't believe it occurred within two weeks of my first time. The reputation is not as bad now as it was then, but I still recall it like it was yesterday.
If I knew then what I know now, I'd have known my "discomforts" were not all normal. I'd have known they had diagnostic names like "hyperemesis gravidarum," and I'd have known it wasn't normal to vomit daily for nine months. I'd have known to report it to my nurse practitioner so they could address it and treat the ailment. I'd have known my swelling and water retention surpassed that which is considered normal and that the massive headaches were a sign of pre-eclampsia. Maybe we'd have caught it sooner and maybe they could have treated it to avoid the scary emergency induction of labor to prevent seizures and other complications. I'd have known that it is not normal to get up and find yourself standing in a pool of blood after giving birth. I'd have known that was considered "postpartum hemorrhage." But then I'd probably have been more scared than I already was, so maybe that was a blissful ignorance. I'd have had a name for the severe depression and crying spells I had postpartum. I'd have known to seek treatment. Instead I was basically told, "You got yourself into this, deal with it." So I did.
I have never regretted having my baby. She was a gift from God when I didn't realize I needed a gift. Through all the struggles, the stress, the hardship, the depression, there was my little angel shining like a star making me laugh along with her big belly laugh at the simplest silliness. There was my motivation and push to be better than I was and to live closer to my potential than I was. She is my sidekick - the one person in the world who will ALWAYS be at my side to brighten my days, encourage me, love me even with my faults and failures, and remain the greatest source of my pride and sense of accomplishment, letting me know that through it all, I must have done something right.
I recall countless days at the Exxon when I was dating "the mailman." I remember our trip to Cape May, and falling asleep in the car. I remember our trip to New Hope and kissing in the middle of the bridge "so I can say I've been kissed in two states at once." I remember thinking I was going to marry him. I remember how much my mother loved him, and how much he made me cry at the end. I remember his emotional disaster after our breakup.
I remember the stress of working at the post office and the depression when I got let go. I remember the mornings of waking up a 3 year old before dawn so I could get to work, and the following laughter when we stepped outside and she asked, "Are you sure it's morning, Mommy?"
I recall the anguish when I herniated the first 2 discs in my back at age 23, and crawling down the stairs in tears. I remember the difficulty of trying to convince the doctors I had herniated discs and not a muscle strain, and ibuprofen in massive doses wasn't helping. I remember my despair when the orthopedic knee specialist they sent me to told me he has older patients with herniated discs who don't complain of pain and trying to convince him it was too much to bear trying to keep up with a 6 year old, working full time, and full time college. I remember how I felt when he exasperatedly said, "What do you want me to do about it? Take Ibuprofen!" I remember leaving in tears.
I remember the next orthopedic clinic and the doctor telling me I was non-surgical and they only do surgery if it doesn't get better. I remember asking how much longer I had to wait before I was considered "not better." I remember the hope I had at pain management when they said, "epidurals for curative effect." I remember how bad the EMG hurt, and the despair when I couldn't get teh doctor to schedule the epidurals after it.
I recall being with Joe in our apartment in Eatontown and the anguish of trying to make that relationship work despite the now obvious signs that it wouldn't. I recall the numbness of the move and the tears over my credit debt and homelessness. I recall days spent in Keansburg playing DDR.
I recall the blood, sweat, tears, and pride of being at Brookdale. I remember how proud Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt Marie, and Mom looked when I graduated. I recall the relief, pride, and accomplishment I felt.
I remember almost every hurt - the stimulus and the pain and the tears. They were many. I also remember some good times thrown in to buffer the bad. On page 156 of Brisingr by Christopher Paolini, he writes:
I recall High School, and my moments of depression and reckless abandon. I can still remember how scared I was when I thought I was pregnant at 16. I remember the peace I felt when I meditated and knew, without a shadow of doubt, that I was and she was a girl. I can't explain how I knew, I just did.
I remember how scared I was an how isolated I felt during the pregnancy - as if I were a great shame that needed to be hidden. I never had the joy and anticipation that other mothers-to-be experience. Every discomfort was met with an air of, "Well, you're the one who went and got pregnant, deal with it." Many don't believe it occurred within two weeks of my first time. The reputation is not as bad now as it was then, but I still recall it like it was yesterday.
If I knew then what I know now, I'd have known my "discomforts" were not all normal. I'd have known they had diagnostic names like "hyperemesis gravidarum," and I'd have known it wasn't normal to vomit daily for nine months. I'd have known to report it to my nurse practitioner so they could address it and treat the ailment. I'd have known my swelling and water retention surpassed that which is considered normal and that the massive headaches were a sign of pre-eclampsia. Maybe we'd have caught it sooner and maybe they could have treated it to avoid the scary emergency induction of labor to prevent seizures and other complications. I'd have known that it is not normal to get up and find yourself standing in a pool of blood after giving birth. I'd have known that was considered "postpartum hemorrhage." But then I'd probably have been more scared than I already was, so maybe that was a blissful ignorance. I'd have had a name for the severe depression and crying spells I had postpartum. I'd have known to seek treatment. Instead I was basically told, "You got yourself into this, deal with it." So I did.
I have never regretted having my baby. She was a gift from God when I didn't realize I needed a gift. Through all the struggles, the stress, the hardship, the depression, there was my little angel shining like a star making me laugh along with her big belly laugh at the simplest silliness. There was my motivation and push to be better than I was and to live closer to my potential than I was. She is my sidekick - the one person in the world who will ALWAYS be at my side to brighten my days, encourage me, love me even with my faults and failures, and remain the greatest source of my pride and sense of accomplishment, letting me know that through it all, I must have done something right.
I recall countless days at the Exxon when I was dating "the mailman." I remember our trip to Cape May, and falling asleep in the car. I remember our trip to New Hope and kissing in the middle of the bridge "so I can say I've been kissed in two states at once." I remember thinking I was going to marry him. I remember how much my mother loved him, and how much he made me cry at the end. I remember his emotional disaster after our breakup.
I remember the stress of working at the post office and the depression when I got let go. I remember the mornings of waking up a 3 year old before dawn so I could get to work, and the following laughter when we stepped outside and she asked, "Are you sure it's morning, Mommy?"
I recall the anguish when I herniated the first 2 discs in my back at age 23, and crawling down the stairs in tears. I remember the difficulty of trying to convince the doctors I had herniated discs and not a muscle strain, and ibuprofen in massive doses wasn't helping. I remember my despair when the orthopedic knee specialist they sent me to told me he has older patients with herniated discs who don't complain of pain and trying to convince him it was too much to bear trying to keep up with a 6 year old, working full time, and full time college. I remember how I felt when he exasperatedly said, "What do you want me to do about it? Take Ibuprofen!" I remember leaving in tears.
I remember the next orthopedic clinic and the doctor telling me I was non-surgical and they only do surgery if it doesn't get better. I remember asking how much longer I had to wait before I was considered "not better." I remember the hope I had at pain management when they said, "epidurals for curative effect." I remember how bad the EMG hurt, and the despair when I couldn't get teh doctor to schedule the epidurals after it.
I recall being with Joe in our apartment in Eatontown and the anguish of trying to make that relationship work despite the now obvious signs that it wouldn't. I recall the numbness of the move and the tears over my credit debt and homelessness. I recall days spent in Keansburg playing DDR.
I recall the blood, sweat, tears, and pride of being at Brookdale. I remember how proud Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt Marie, and Mom looked when I graduated. I recall the relief, pride, and accomplishment I felt.
I remember almost every hurt - the stimulus and the pain and the tears. They were many. I also remember some good times thrown in to buffer the bad. On page 156 of Brisingr by Christopher Paolini, he writes:
What will happen, will happen, and I won't waste the time I have above-ground worrying. Misfortune always comes to those who wait. The trick is to find happiness in the brief gaps between disasters.
How true!
So many things I remember from 10-15 years ago or longer. Dayna has a favorite quote by Momiji Sohma in Fruits Basket about his memories. Along those lines, I hope to never lose these memories - good and bad. They are the events and emotions and accomplishments and despairs that have shaped who I am. I don't wish to live in the past, but I do think I need to remember it and attempt to learn from it to avoid further mistakes and history repeating itself. It always does.
Onward to find happiness in this gap before my next disaster!
Dinner Party
Sunday, August 15th 2010
I woke up at 9:30am, before my alarm went off. I sat with my coffee, took my morning meds, and read some more. I got in the shower, dressed and got ready to run out to ShopRite.
My mother called at 11:15am to make sure I was up cooking. She told me I should have gone to the store yesterday and should have the roast on already, and now dinner won't be done on time now because the roast needs three hours to cook. I told her I have never taken three hours to make a pot roast. She insisted it would take that long. Then she said, "OK, if we eat by 4pm instead, it'll be fine." I could feel my spirit drop as my anxiety escalated.
I did my hair and makeup and set off for the store. I picked up a nice 3-1/2 lb roast, Wondra (cause Mom swears by it), CoffeeMate, dinner rolls, and a few other items. I came home, put my purchases away, and set to chopping an onion. I sauteed the onion with some spices, then added the roast, seasoning each side with every turn of searing. I added some water, covered, and turned the heat to low for a nice simmer.
I took the garbage out and set up a bag in the pail. I didn't have time to scrub it out like I'd planned, but I don't think anyone will care. If anyone does, it'll be my mother. She will forever have a critical eye. That's just her. That of itself does not make her a bad person, it just makes her difficult to deal with sometimes. I have 32 years experience letting it roll off, and still sometimes it gets me in the gut.
Dad and Marty arrived first at about 2:30pm. Dad set to trying to fix the TV reception again. Marty talked about setting it up to bounce off a satellite. He knows these things from his work with satellite internet. They brought a box of stuff from the Alero and dishes from Chris and Kathy.
Mom and Glen arrived with a truck full of my stuff from the trailer. Mom is in a "Get Donna's stuff out of my house" mode. They brought the computers, Dayna's TV, Dayna's DVD/VCR, my clothes bin, and some Avon stuff. Mom brought my sewing basket, needlepoint, and cutting board.
There was good conversation and merriment! It was so nice to have company. It was even nicer to have a place for everyone to sit! Marty hooked up Dayna's VCR/DVD so we could put on a movie for mom. She wasn't thrilled with my selection of VCR tapes, but my collection of Harry Potter DVD's caught her eye. She'd never seen the 6th one. She asked what it was called after marty had it up and running. I was happy to tell her it was The Half-Blood Prince. We began discussing the 7th one's arrival soon.
Mom helped me set the table. I asked her to make the gravy while I dished up the vegetables and sliced the roast. She asked where the Gravy Master was. She was surprised to hear I never use it and beamed it's benefits while telling me to get some. Everyone sat to eat. The conversation was boisterous and multi-faceted. We talked about Marty's job interviews. Dad and Glen talked about the Teamsters Union and their changes over the past few years. Dad's still happy to be retired. Glen is awaiting the day he can be. Mom asked me to come over Wednesday and dye her hair. I asked if she would dye mine as well. I'm due for a change.
Mom and I sat outside chatting. She said the place is coming along. She said it looks good, little by little. If you know my mom, you know how high a compliment that simple interchange was.
Mom cleared the table for me while I sat outside keeping Dad company. A squirrel sat on it's haunches across the sidewalk looking at us. Dad said he looked like a Protestant minister with the way he was holding his hands. I told the squirrel it was okay. He crossed the sidewalk and foraged in the grass just outside the patio. Dad said I'd do well in Canada with the way I am with wildlife. I told him of the two skunks that come around, sometimes right onto the patio!
Mom got antsy about 6pm. She doesn't like driving in the dark this far from home. She forgot the sheets I am loaning them for their trip to Lake George. Glen was quite content sitting on the couch with a beer chatting with Marty, but he got ready to leave to keep Mom happy.
I showed Dad how one of the dining room chairs was coming apart. I told him I tried to fix it but didn't have the oomph to get the dowels back in. He said he could do it. That became his project for the day. I thought it was a simple matter of pounding it back in. I was wrong. Dad set to taking the whole chair apart! He scraped out old glue, added new glue, pounded it with a hammer, and then used twine in lieu of a wood clamp until the glue dried. He did a fantastic job putting the whole thing back together.
I apologized that it was such a complex project. Dad said he was happy to do it. He said, "I'm not so good with conversations so this was good, it kept me busy." Next time I'll ask him to get the mirror on my dresser :-) Just so he's comfortably busy, you know. I would hate for him to be uncomfortably idle!
Dad read through the entire Sunday Press. Marty attacked the rest of the food. He said, "No one should be forced to endure left-overs!" He's losing weight. I'm glad to have the opportunity to feed these two guys. We had coffee and more conversation. Dad and Marty played with Dayna's computer & monitor. They set up her monitor on Marty's laptop and we watched Sherlock Holmes - Marty on the couch, Dad lying on the floor, and I was at the dining table. It reminded me of weekends when we were kids.
Dad and Marty stayed until 1am. I asked Dad if he wanted to use the patio again before they left, Marty won't let him smoke in the car. I sent Marty with his care package of towels, electric broom, wash clothes, razor, Irish Spring, etc.
It was a great day. I mentioned to Dad that the place is coming along and starting to feel like "home." He said he felt that when he walked in the door. He said, "It feels like I'm at Donna's house." It's so nice to have a HOME!
I woke up at 9:30am, before my alarm went off. I sat with my coffee, took my morning meds, and read some more. I got in the shower, dressed and got ready to run out to ShopRite.
My mother called at 11:15am to make sure I was up cooking. She told me I should have gone to the store yesterday and should have the roast on already, and now dinner won't be done on time now because the roast needs three hours to cook. I told her I have never taken three hours to make a pot roast. She insisted it would take that long. Then she said, "OK, if we eat by 4pm instead, it'll be fine." I could feel my spirit drop as my anxiety escalated.
I did my hair and makeup and set off for the store. I picked up a nice 3-1/2 lb roast, Wondra (cause Mom swears by it), CoffeeMate, dinner rolls, and a few other items. I came home, put my purchases away, and set to chopping an onion. I sauteed the onion with some spices, then added the roast, seasoning each side with every turn of searing. I added some water, covered, and turned the heat to low for a nice simmer.
I took the garbage out and set up a bag in the pail. I didn't have time to scrub it out like I'd planned, but I don't think anyone will care. If anyone does, it'll be my mother. She will forever have a critical eye. That's just her. That of itself does not make her a bad person, it just makes her difficult to deal with sometimes. I have 32 years experience letting it roll off, and still sometimes it gets me in the gut.
Dad and Marty arrived first at about 2:30pm. Dad set to trying to fix the TV reception again. Marty talked about setting it up to bounce off a satellite. He knows these things from his work with satellite internet. They brought a box of stuff from the Alero and dishes from Chris and Kathy.
Mom and Glen arrived with a truck full of my stuff from the trailer. Mom is in a "Get Donna's stuff out of my house" mode. They brought the computers, Dayna's TV, Dayna's DVD/VCR, my clothes bin, and some Avon stuff. Mom brought my sewing basket, needlepoint, and cutting board.
There was good conversation and merriment! It was so nice to have company. It was even nicer to have a place for everyone to sit! Marty hooked up Dayna's VCR/DVD so we could put on a movie for mom. She wasn't thrilled with my selection of VCR tapes, but my collection of Harry Potter DVD's caught her eye. She'd never seen the 6th one. She asked what it was called after marty had it up and running. I was happy to tell her it was The Half-Blood Prince. We began discussing the 7th one's arrival soon.
Mom helped me set the table. I asked her to make the gravy while I dished up the vegetables and sliced the roast. She asked where the Gravy Master was. She was surprised to hear I never use it and beamed it's benefits while telling me to get some. Everyone sat to eat. The conversation was boisterous and multi-faceted. We talked about Marty's job interviews. Dad and Glen talked about the Teamsters Union and their changes over the past few years. Dad's still happy to be retired. Glen is awaiting the day he can be. Mom asked me to come over Wednesday and dye her hair. I asked if she would dye mine as well. I'm due for a change.
Mom and I sat outside chatting. She said the place is coming along. She said it looks good, little by little. If you know my mom, you know how high a compliment that simple interchange was.
Mom cleared the table for me while I sat outside keeping Dad company. A squirrel sat on it's haunches across the sidewalk looking at us. Dad said he looked like a Protestant minister with the way he was holding his hands. I told the squirrel it was okay. He crossed the sidewalk and foraged in the grass just outside the patio. Dad said I'd do well in Canada with the way I am with wildlife. I told him of the two skunks that come around, sometimes right onto the patio!
Mom got antsy about 6pm. She doesn't like driving in the dark this far from home. She forgot the sheets I am loaning them for their trip to Lake George. Glen was quite content sitting on the couch with a beer chatting with Marty, but he got ready to leave to keep Mom happy.
I showed Dad how one of the dining room chairs was coming apart. I told him I tried to fix it but didn't have the oomph to get the dowels back in. He said he could do it. That became his project for the day. I thought it was a simple matter of pounding it back in. I was wrong. Dad set to taking the whole chair apart! He scraped out old glue, added new glue, pounded it with a hammer, and then used twine in lieu of a wood clamp until the glue dried. He did a fantastic job putting the whole thing back together.
I apologized that it was such a complex project. Dad said he was happy to do it. He said, "I'm not so good with conversations so this was good, it kept me busy." Next time I'll ask him to get the mirror on my dresser :-) Just so he's comfortably busy, you know. I would hate for him to be uncomfortably idle!
Dad read through the entire Sunday Press. Marty attacked the rest of the food. He said, "No one should be forced to endure left-overs!" He's losing weight. I'm glad to have the opportunity to feed these two guys. We had coffee and more conversation. Dad and Marty played with Dayna's computer & monitor. They set up her monitor on Marty's laptop and we watched Sherlock Holmes - Marty on the couch, Dad lying on the floor, and I was at the dining table. It reminded me of weekends when we were kids.
Dad and Marty stayed until 1am. I asked Dad if he wanted to use the patio again before they left, Marty won't let him smoke in the car. I sent Marty with his care package of towels, electric broom, wash clothes, razor, Irish Spring, etc.
It was a great day. I mentioned to Dad that the place is coming along and starting to feel like "home." He said he felt that when he walked in the door. He said, "It feels like I'm at Donna's house." It's so nice to have a HOME!
Mundane Ramblings
Saturday, August 14th 2010
The phone has been ringing all morning! Many of the calls are that 866 number that I am nearly certain is a collection agency. Sigh. one of these days I am going to be so annoyed that I answer and Heaven help me and the person on the other end of the line as I am tempted to scream, "STOP HARASSING ME!" and threaten to report them to the Better Business Bureau. They start calling at 8:30am and call every hour or so until 9:30pm. They never leave a message.
I'm reading more of Brisingr while I have my coffee. I skipped the pain meds this morning, despite hurting and hobbling. i don't like taking them too often. I also have some things I want to do and I don't want a false sense of ability and the subsequent pain when the med wears off because I did too much.
6:45pm - I've attacked the bathroom drains with Drain-O, emptied the center closet, painted it, took the linen closet shelves outside and painted them out on the patio, unloaded half a box under the kitchen sink and just took half a pain pill. I have been productive, and now I hurt.
I texted Marty a few times. I keep coming up with things I don't really need anymore. He could use them, so they're his now. So far I've given him towels and an electric broom.
I have been more productive, and now I hurt even more! Once the pain med kicked in, I took to unpacking a box with assorted casserole dishes, coffee mugs, pie plates, my wizard statue, and pictures. I hung the pictures of me and Dayna centered on the living room wall; the collage of pictures to the left centered over the bookshelves, and the mirror from Aunt marie between me and Dayna and the front door. It looks nice. :-)
I hung the picture of a kitten in the hall between the linen closet and center closet. It's the one I won from the St. lawrence church fair when I was in middle school. I tried every night to win, and LOST! The final night of the carnival I brought a five dollar bill, laid it across the board and said, "There! I am covering ALL the spots! Now I will definitely win!" She spun the wheel and I finally had my kitten picture in my arms.
By the time i was done filling cabinets and emptying boxes, I had 3 boxes of garbage for the dumpster.
The phone has been ringing all morning! Many of the calls are that 866 number that I am nearly certain is a collection agency. Sigh. one of these days I am going to be so annoyed that I answer and Heaven help me and the person on the other end of the line as I am tempted to scream, "STOP HARASSING ME!" and threaten to report them to the Better Business Bureau. They start calling at 8:30am and call every hour or so until 9:30pm. They never leave a message.
I'm reading more of Brisingr while I have my coffee. I skipped the pain meds this morning, despite hurting and hobbling. i don't like taking them too often. I also have some things I want to do and I don't want a false sense of ability and the subsequent pain when the med wears off because I did too much.
6:45pm - I've attacked the bathroom drains with Drain-O, emptied the center closet, painted it, took the linen closet shelves outside and painted them out on the patio, unloaded half a box under the kitchen sink and just took half a pain pill. I have been productive, and now I hurt.
I texted Marty a few times. I keep coming up with things I don't really need anymore. He could use them, so they're his now. So far I've given him towels and an electric broom.
I have been more productive, and now I hurt even more! Once the pain med kicked in, I took to unpacking a box with assorted casserole dishes, coffee mugs, pie plates, my wizard statue, and pictures. I hung the pictures of me and Dayna centered on the living room wall; the collage of pictures to the left centered over the bookshelves, and the mirror from Aunt marie between me and Dayna and the front door. It looks nice. :-)
I hung the picture of a kitten in the hall between the linen closet and center closet. It's the one I won from the St. lawrence church fair when I was in middle school. I tried every night to win, and LOST! The final night of the carnival I brought a five dollar bill, laid it across the board and said, "There! I am covering ALL the spots! Now I will definitely win!" She spun the wheel and I finally had my kitten picture in my arms.
By the time i was done filling cabinets and emptying boxes, I had 3 boxes of garbage for the dumpster.
Brisingr Quotes
The following three are quotes from Brisingr, by Christopher Paolini.
Too true...
p. 28 - Galbatorix, Murtagh, the Ra'zac, or even one of the Empire's soldiers could put steel through us at any moment. A wise man would ignore the future and drink and carouse while he still has an opportunity to enjoy this world.
p. 140 - If you drink to forget your lot in life and not for pleasure, you ought to do it where you won't disturb anyone.
p. 156 - What will happen, will happen, and I won't waste the time I have above-ground worrying. Misfortune always comes to those who wait. The trick is to find happiness in the brief gaps between disasters.
Too true...
Schwup!
Friday, August 13th 2010
I was up until 5am - which didn't really surprise me since I slept most of yesterday. I woke up at 11am. Then I realized I forgot to set my alarm and totally missed my doctor's appointment. I rescheduled for September 3rd.
I realized I've been in a "down mode" for the past week and a half or so. I think part of it is the time of the month. Adria noted years ago that I get more depressed a week or so of the month. I haven't been sleeping well, my schedule is all thrown off, I don't want to do much, few bits of unpacking and some food shopping only, I don't have the energy to shower daily, I'm on the every other day schedule, I barely have the energy to throw my hair in a ponytail and get dressed. I'd much rather have one of those exhausting "up modes."
My back has really been hurting this past week. I dislike dragging my left leg, limping and feeling like Quasimoto. I'm used to my "best impression of a rice crispy" days where my back crackles when I move, but ugh! The difficulty walking and hurting too much to even sit at the dining table has got to go! It's weeks like this that make me thankful for my handicapped placard - at least I don't have to avoid ALL errands anymore.
I showered, dressed, did my hair and makeup. Then I went to Wawa. I debated stopping at ShopRite to grab something for Sunday night's dinner. I invited Marty and Dad. I wasn't sure what I was making yet. I was torn between pot roast, pork chops, tilapia, or stuffed shells. I made pork steaks the last time Dad was down. Maybe a pot roast so I can use up some of these potatoes and carrots before they go bad. I still have tons of frozen veggies.
I took a nap for a few hours to rest my back and my mind. I kept thinking of things I *should* be doing, but my back was protesting and I'd already taken half a vicodin.
I made the steaks I'd taken out of the freezer Tuesday night. Dayna had requested them, then decided to go back to Bryan's a day early. She didn't feel like going to my Mom's. I sauteed onions, added the steaks and cooked covered on low after seasoning them. I chopped some asparagus, carrots, and red potatoes and added them to the pan with some garlic and olive oil. It was enough for two servings, the second went into the fridge.
There is another fly in the apartment. The constant buzzing around my head is driving me nuts. There's a few more smaller buggers who are nearly as annoying, as well as a spider look-a-like. I swatted at the flyers like I was playing volleyball. I swatted lots-o-legs with a roll of paper towels. It fell on the floor. I got out the vacuum. Schwup! Problem solved. If only the fly would stay still long enough to be sucked up.
As I was vacuuming, I began smelling something. Sniff, sniff. Burning? No. Ammonia? I haven't used ammonia recently. I grabbed the bottle of ammonia and intent on confirming my suspicion took a nice whiff. Then I remembered 10th grade chemistry. Never, ever, take a nice big whiff. Waft it towards your nose with your hand. The memory was too late.
Ammonia does not just have, what one might call, toxic fumes. No. It believes in the sneak attack. You open the bottle, you smell nothing. You sniff, you smell slight scent. You take a good whiff to confirm, and by the time your brain comprehends the full potency of the sniff test, you're mostly through your good whiff as the attack on your nasal passages is in full force. On the bright side, open window, garbage out, no smell on re-entering and a panic attack was averted.
I was up until 5am - which didn't really surprise me since I slept most of yesterday. I woke up at 11am. Then I realized I forgot to set my alarm and totally missed my doctor's appointment. I rescheduled for September 3rd.
I realized I've been in a "down mode" for the past week and a half or so. I think part of it is the time of the month. Adria noted years ago that I get more depressed a week or so of the month. I haven't been sleeping well, my schedule is all thrown off, I don't want to do much, few bits of unpacking and some food shopping only, I don't have the energy to shower daily, I'm on the every other day schedule, I barely have the energy to throw my hair in a ponytail and get dressed. I'd much rather have one of those exhausting "up modes."
My back has really been hurting this past week. I dislike dragging my left leg, limping and feeling like Quasimoto. I'm used to my "best impression of a rice crispy" days where my back crackles when I move, but ugh! The difficulty walking and hurting too much to even sit at the dining table has got to go! It's weeks like this that make me thankful for my handicapped placard - at least I don't have to avoid ALL errands anymore.
I showered, dressed, did my hair and makeup. Then I went to Wawa. I debated stopping at ShopRite to grab something for Sunday night's dinner. I invited Marty and Dad. I wasn't sure what I was making yet. I was torn between pot roast, pork chops, tilapia, or stuffed shells. I made pork steaks the last time Dad was down. Maybe a pot roast so I can use up some of these potatoes and carrots before they go bad. I still have tons of frozen veggies.
I took a nap for a few hours to rest my back and my mind. I kept thinking of things I *should* be doing, but my back was protesting and I'd already taken half a vicodin.
I made the steaks I'd taken out of the freezer Tuesday night. Dayna had requested them, then decided to go back to Bryan's a day early. She didn't feel like going to my Mom's. I sauteed onions, added the steaks and cooked covered on low after seasoning them. I chopped some asparagus, carrots, and red potatoes and added them to the pan with some garlic and olive oil. It was enough for two servings, the second went into the fridge.
There is another fly in the apartment. The constant buzzing around my head is driving me nuts. There's a few more smaller buggers who are nearly as annoying, as well as a spider look-a-like. I swatted at the flyers like I was playing volleyball. I swatted lots-o-legs with a roll of paper towels. It fell on the floor. I got out the vacuum. Schwup! Problem solved. If only the fly would stay still long enough to be sucked up.
As I was vacuuming, I began smelling something. Sniff, sniff. Burning? No. Ammonia? I haven't used ammonia recently. I grabbed the bottle of ammonia and intent on confirming my suspicion took a nice whiff. Then I remembered 10th grade chemistry. Never, ever, take a nice big whiff. Waft it towards your nose with your hand. The memory was too late.
Ammonia does not just have, what one might call, toxic fumes. No. It believes in the sneak attack. You open the bottle, you smell nothing. You sniff, you smell slight scent. You take a good whiff to confirm, and by the time your brain comprehends the full potency of the sniff test, you're mostly through your good whiff as the attack on your nasal passages is in full force. On the bright side, open window, garbage out, no smell on re-entering and a panic attack was averted.
Fudderwhacken
Thursday, August 12th 2010
I came to mom's to watch SYTYCD (So You Think You Can Dance). It was the season finale.
I ruffled through the contents of the coffee table on a mission. I needed to find the card Grandma sent to Marty. I hadn't seen him to give it to him. I was unsuccessful.
I checked Facebook last night. I noticed a post from Veronica. She said that she "would like to Fudderwhacken vigorously." For those of you unfamiliar with Alice in Wonderland, that's the name of the dance the Mad Hatter does. I responded to Veronica's comment by saying, "I wish I could vigorously Fudderwhack, I'm in ouchie mode." Dayna was online. I posted on her page, "Veronica is Fudderwhacking without us." Oh boy, did the comments roll!
Dayna jumped right in saying she was Fudderwhacking, complete with *puts on Fudderwhacking hat and fudderwhacks." I replied that I would like a magic Fudderwhacking hat so I could Fudderwhack. Dayna said I was just jealous and wished I knew the Mad Hatter so he could make me a hat. I said, "Absolutely! All I got was a stinking half cup of tea and some butter." She said they were out of jam, and jelly's just silly. Veronica laughed.
I said, "You should know better than to post things like this on your page when Dayna and I are your friends." Veronica said, "That's the point!" I love my friends. :-)
I came to mom's to watch SYTYCD (So You Think You Can Dance). It was the season finale.
I ruffled through the contents of the coffee table on a mission. I needed to find the card Grandma sent to Marty. I hadn't seen him to give it to him. I was unsuccessful.
I checked Facebook last night. I noticed a post from Veronica. She said that she "would like to Fudderwhacken vigorously." For those of you unfamiliar with Alice in Wonderland, that's the name of the dance the Mad Hatter does. I responded to Veronica's comment by saying, "I wish I could vigorously Fudderwhack, I'm in ouchie mode." Dayna was online. I posted on her page, "Veronica is Fudderwhacking without us." Oh boy, did the comments roll!
Dayna jumped right in saying she was Fudderwhacking, complete with *puts on Fudderwhacking hat and fudderwhacks." I replied that I would like a magic Fudderwhacking hat so I could Fudderwhack. Dayna said I was just jealous and wished I knew the Mad Hatter so he could make me a hat. I said, "Absolutely! All I got was a stinking half cup of tea and some butter." She said they were out of jam, and jelly's just silly. Veronica laughed.
I said, "You should know better than to post things like this on your page when Dayna and I are your friends." Veronica said, "That's the point!" I love my friends. :-)
Friday, August 13, 2010
Super Woman, Part 2
Tuesday, August 3rd 2010
I woke up about 10:30am. I made coffee and sat reading Eragon. I'm quite engrossed in this story. I'll have to buy this one when I get back on my feet.
I was hurting so I took a half a pain pill. Half an hour later I was pretending to be Super Woman again. I got the cordless drill/screwdriver and attacked the bedroom brackets again. I was successful this time! They look beautiful, if I do say so myself.
Not wanting to waste my few hours of pain relief, I painted Dayna's closet. I took a break and had some leftover veggies for lunch (other than coffee, I forgot about breakfast). I read some more of Eragon.
I emptied one of the living room closets. I tackled painting it. Top to bottom, I covered it all! And it's only 6pm! I've been productive. I'm going to let it dry a few hours. I plan on putting my holiday stuff in this closet - the Christmas bin, the tree, another bin of combined holiday paraphernalia...and coats. I forgot to paint the closet rod. :-/ It fell down while I was painting above the shelf and I forgot about it. I'm not dirtying the brush again. I've already cleaned it twice today. I'll get it next time I paint.
I sat down to read some more of Eragon. He and Murtagh have just made it to the Beor Mountains with Saphira, Snowfire, and Tournac on their escape from the King's men in Gil'ead! They've braved the Hadorac Desert and can relax a little. The elf has yet to wake up...
On break from Eragon, I packed the holiday stuff and bedding into the closet. the coats aren't going to fit, the bins are too tall to allow sufficient room. I also took out the garbage, organized a box to go back to storage, threw a crocheted baby blanket over the back of the couch, and unpacked another box of movies, DVD's and CD's. I found the dishtowels! I just realized Bret did the typical male thing - bought me HIS favorite color. Aside from a retro step-stool, I have nothing red in my decor. Merry Christmas! Yes, he got me dishtowels for Christmas - at the dollar store. How thoughtfully romantic! Back to Eragon! (And another half a pain pill...ouch!)
I woke up about 10:30am. I made coffee and sat reading Eragon. I'm quite engrossed in this story. I'll have to buy this one when I get back on my feet.
I was hurting so I took a half a pain pill. Half an hour later I was pretending to be Super Woman again. I got the cordless drill/screwdriver and attacked the bedroom brackets again. I was successful this time! They look beautiful, if I do say so myself.
Not wanting to waste my few hours of pain relief, I painted Dayna's closet. I took a break and had some leftover veggies for lunch (other than coffee, I forgot about breakfast). I read some more of Eragon.
I emptied one of the living room closets. I tackled painting it. Top to bottom, I covered it all! And it's only 6pm! I've been productive. I'm going to let it dry a few hours. I plan on putting my holiday stuff in this closet - the Christmas bin, the tree, another bin of combined holiday paraphernalia...and coats. I forgot to paint the closet rod. :-/ It fell down while I was painting above the shelf and I forgot about it. I'm not dirtying the brush again. I've already cleaned it twice today. I'll get it next time I paint.
I sat down to read some more of Eragon. He and Murtagh have just made it to the Beor Mountains with Saphira, Snowfire, and Tournac on their escape from the King's men in Gil'ead! They've braved the Hadorac Desert and can relax a little. The elf has yet to wake up...
On break from Eragon, I packed the holiday stuff and bedding into the closet. the coats aren't going to fit, the bins are too tall to allow sufficient room. I also took out the garbage, organized a box to go back to storage, threw a crocheted baby blanket over the back of the couch, and unpacked another box of movies, DVD's and CD's. I found the dishtowels! I just realized Bret did the typical male thing - bought me HIS favorite color. Aside from a retro step-stool, I have nothing red in my decor. Merry Christmas! Yes, he got me dishtowels for Christmas - at the dollar store. How thoughtfully romantic! Back to Eragon! (And another half a pain pill...ouch!)
The Unpredictability of Panic Attacks
Monday, August 2nd 2010
I woke up and read some more of Eragon while having my morning coffee. I'm very fascinated by this book. It's an excellent story and even more impressive when you read the blip about the author in the back. He graduated homeschooling at age 15 and published this when he was 19. Way to go Christopher Paolini! I love the writing. The chapters are short, but numerous, so there's plenty of pauses for me to get up and do things.
I did the dishes from last night, took my meds, got more coffee, sat outside, painted the bedroom closet some more, moved a few boxes, swept the linen closet and stuck the tool bin in without organizing it (I can do that later), and I attempted to hang curtains in the bedroom. My drill/screwdriver wasn't charged. I'll have to hang the curtains tomorrow. I put the shoe rack in the closet and loaded it with the shoes I have here. I moved the antenna inside to prevent bugs flying through the wire crack in the sliding door.
I am just reheating vegetables tonight for dinner. Right now the neighbors are being quite boisterous, as if their radio blaring all day everyday wasn't enough. I have no idea what they're whooping about. They seem to only speak Spanish.
The lady upstairs either just fell or dropped something. Last Friday she was sitting on her balcony on the phone complaining about one of the little boys hollering in Spanish while they were playing (I call them the calvary :-) They ride their bikes and scooters around the building in a big circle. I think they're cute). She called the apartment complex "the ghetto." I don't think she's ever seen, much less been to, a ghetto. The houses around the complex are very nice, middle class family style homes. I don't hear sirens all the time like I did at the motel.I never see flashy lights unless an ambulance is going down Route 9. There are no obvious drug dealers or crime. My car has never been bothered in the parking lot, not so much as a scratch. It could be MUCH worse. This is far from the ghetto.
Here I am sitting in the dining area at 10pm and I get a whiff of smokey burning smell. Of course, I panic and race around through the apartment unplugging things and smelling every room. It's faint in the bedroom, very prominent in the bathroom. I wonder if the neighbors are burning incense or smoking and it's coming through the vent? I hear periodic clicking. I think it's from upstairs. I hate having anxiety issues. This would be nerve-racking enough, add on an anxiety disorder and wham! instant Panic Attack! (No water required, not intended for children under 3.)
I sit here second guessing. Am I crazy? Am I smelling things that don't exist? Is this just anxiety? I've smelled a burning smell in the bathroom one other time and that turned out fine, but is it wise - or safe - to relax and ignore this? I hear the people upstairs moving about getting ready for bed. No smoke alarms are screaming. No one is running from their apartments yelling, "Fire!" So it should be alright...right?
I sat outside. No smokey smell. Some nights I smell campfire smells outside, but not tonight. I came back in. No funny smell in "the office" (section of the living room where I have a computer desk and bookcases). No funny smell in the living room. Faint in the bedroom. Slight in the bathroom. I turned the light and vent fan on. I took a shower.
I had more than a dual purpose for the shower. I was hoping the vent fan being on and the smell of soap and shampoo would rid the place of the smokey smell. I hoped the shower might relax me. I also wanted to be clean, albeit wearing slippers and pajama's, if fire engines showed up! Maybe I'm taking that "wear clean underwear" saying a little too far.
I took my night meds a bit early. Maybe they'll help. I debated a Xanax. Sigh!
I woke up and read some more of Eragon while having my morning coffee. I'm very fascinated by this book. It's an excellent story and even more impressive when you read the blip about the author in the back. He graduated homeschooling at age 15 and published this when he was 19. Way to go Christopher Paolini! I love the writing. The chapters are short, but numerous, so there's plenty of pauses for me to get up and do things.
I did the dishes from last night, took my meds, got more coffee, sat outside, painted the bedroom closet some more, moved a few boxes, swept the linen closet and stuck the tool bin in without organizing it (I can do that later), and I attempted to hang curtains in the bedroom. My drill/screwdriver wasn't charged. I'll have to hang the curtains tomorrow. I put the shoe rack in the closet and loaded it with the shoes I have here. I moved the antenna inside to prevent bugs flying through the wire crack in the sliding door.
I am just reheating vegetables tonight for dinner. Right now the neighbors are being quite boisterous, as if their radio blaring all day everyday wasn't enough. I have no idea what they're whooping about. They seem to only speak Spanish.
The lady upstairs either just fell or dropped something. Last Friday she was sitting on her balcony on the phone complaining about one of the little boys hollering in Spanish while they were playing (I call them the calvary :-) They ride their bikes and scooters around the building in a big circle. I think they're cute). She called the apartment complex "the ghetto." I don't think she's ever seen, much less been to, a ghetto. The houses around the complex are very nice, middle class family style homes. I don't hear sirens all the time like I did at the motel.I never see flashy lights unless an ambulance is going down Route 9. There are no obvious drug dealers or crime. My car has never been bothered in the parking lot, not so much as a scratch. It could be MUCH worse. This is far from the ghetto.
Here I am sitting in the dining area at 10pm and I get a whiff of smokey burning smell. Of course, I panic and race around through the apartment unplugging things and smelling every room. It's faint in the bedroom, very prominent in the bathroom. I wonder if the neighbors are burning incense or smoking and it's coming through the vent? I hear periodic clicking. I think it's from upstairs. I hate having anxiety issues. This would be nerve-racking enough, add on an anxiety disorder and wham! instant Panic Attack! (No water required, not intended for children under 3.)
I sit here second guessing. Am I crazy? Am I smelling things that don't exist? Is this just anxiety? I've smelled a burning smell in the bathroom one other time and that turned out fine, but is it wise - or safe - to relax and ignore this? I hear the people upstairs moving about getting ready for bed. No smoke alarms are screaming. No one is running from their apartments yelling, "Fire!" So it should be alright...right?
I sat outside. No smokey smell. Some nights I smell campfire smells outside, but not tonight. I came back in. No funny smell in "the office" (section of the living room where I have a computer desk and bookcases). No funny smell in the living room. Faint in the bedroom. Slight in the bathroom. I turned the light and vent fan on. I took a shower.
I had more than a dual purpose for the shower. I was hoping the vent fan being on and the smell of soap and shampoo would rid the place of the smokey smell. I hoped the shower might relax me. I also wanted to be clean, albeit wearing slippers and pajama's, if fire engines showed up! Maybe I'm taking that "wear clean underwear" saying a little too far.
I took my night meds a bit early. Maybe they'll help. I debated a Xanax. Sigh!
Quasimoto
Sunday, August 1st 2010
I can't believe it's already August! Where did the time go? Only three more weeks remain before my disability hearing. I still get nervous when I think about it.
I'm a bit stiff and hobbly so far this morning. Standing up straight takes a bit of effort and an additional minute. Walking is slow going. The left leg is trying to catch up, but it's having difficulty today. I've been taking a half a pain pill more days than not lately. :-( I'm hoping after my hearing it doesn't take too long for Medicare to kick in so I can get the proper treatment to get a bit better. I know they can't make me 100% better, but better than this would be nice. I am grateful I am better than last year, but I still would like to improve so I can live daily without pain medication to do daily activities.
My pleasure this morning was seeing my beautiful daughter sprawled out on the pull-out couch. I smiled. She helped me push the couch back a bit last night and opened the bed part for the first time. We made up the bed with her Happy Bunny sheets, changed her pillowcases, and laid on the bed while we watched George of the Jungle. Seeing her sprawled out on a diagonal made me smile. I am so happy to have found this couch. I'm glad she wanted to test out the bed this weekend instead of just sleeping on the couch.
My other pleasure this morning is coffee! Java. Yum. As I got up to get another cup, I remembered something vitally important. Stand...THEN walk. The whole starting to walk while finishing the standing part resulted in my looking like Quasimoto the Hunchback. Walking is definitely interesting that way.
Dayna and I went to the library yesterday. She checked out 11 manga's (basically Japanese comic books written in English) and I checked out Eragon. When she woke up, we sat at the table, her with Frosted Flaked and Marshmallows and I with my coffee, and read our books. That's basically all we did all day. We had a nice relaxing day reading at the table together. Then I brought her back to her dad's so she could go to theater camp again on Monday.
I can't believe it's already August! Where did the time go? Only three more weeks remain before my disability hearing. I still get nervous when I think about it.
I'm a bit stiff and hobbly so far this morning. Standing up straight takes a bit of effort and an additional minute. Walking is slow going. The left leg is trying to catch up, but it's having difficulty today. I've been taking a half a pain pill more days than not lately. :-( I'm hoping after my hearing it doesn't take too long for Medicare to kick in so I can get the proper treatment to get a bit better. I know they can't make me 100% better, but better than this would be nice. I am grateful I am better than last year, but I still would like to improve so I can live daily without pain medication to do daily activities.
My pleasure this morning was seeing my beautiful daughter sprawled out on the pull-out couch. I smiled. She helped me push the couch back a bit last night and opened the bed part for the first time. We made up the bed with her Happy Bunny sheets, changed her pillowcases, and laid on the bed while we watched George of the Jungle. Seeing her sprawled out on a diagonal made me smile. I am so happy to have found this couch. I'm glad she wanted to test out the bed this weekend instead of just sleeping on the couch.
My other pleasure this morning is coffee! Java. Yum. As I got up to get another cup, I remembered something vitally important. Stand...THEN walk. The whole starting to walk while finishing the standing part resulted in my looking like Quasimoto the Hunchback. Walking is definitely interesting that way.
Dayna and I went to the library yesterday. She checked out 11 manga's (basically Japanese comic books written in English) and I checked out Eragon. When she woke up, we sat at the table, her with Frosted Flaked and Marshmallows and I with my coffee, and read our books. That's basically all we did all day. We had a nice relaxing day reading at the table together. Then I brought her back to her dad's so she could go to theater camp again on Monday.
A Busy Friday
Friday, July 30th 2010
The super came by this morning for an apartment inspection. I told him about the sink backing up and asked about an oven rack. He said the sink has been a problem before, he'll have someone come look at the pipes. He said the landlord hasn't given him an oven rack yet, so I am still limited to top of stove cooking.
I missed Dayna's Premiere Stages showcase today. She did the theater camp at Kean University again this year. I was afraid I didn't have enough gas in the car to get there. They overlapped the camps so that the High School kids, who focused on acting this summer, acted out the Middle School kids scripts. I took a nap to get my mind off it.
When I woke up, I left to pick up my prescriptions at Genoa, inside the doctor's office. I used to go to CVS, but the doctor said the one in the office was better so I started getting my prescriptions filled right there. The pharmacist didn't even ask my name, she just came right over and started rummaging through the bags of filled scripts. She pulled out a bag and said, "Ok Donna, here's your medication." I replied, "You're good. I can't believe you remembered me." I've only gone there two other times.
You don't get that personalized service at CVS. At least I never did. After three years of going to CVS regularly for meds, they always ask my name, the pharmacist rarely goes over instructions and med info (and then only if you ask and wait some more), and they ALWAYS have a long line. At Genoa, the pharmacist remembered me without asking who I was, got my meds right away, no long lines, and she reviewed instructions to stay out of the sun and keep cool because my medication decreases my tolerance for heat and sunlight exposure and increased my risk of heat exhaustion. I love the service. It makes the extra drive worth it.
Dad came over yesterday and tried to get the TV working. He had no luck either, so it wasn't just me! With the antenna on the patio outside, he got NJN Channel 23. That's it. Channel 23. Dad came by with a different TV antenna and converter box today to try the TV again. He brought the shelf he made and the statue of Fatima he got for me, along with two white candles. He got her for me so I'd "never be alone" and "there's always someone watching over me." Grandma has an affinity for St. Therese of Lisieux and Dad has a connection with Fatima. Grandma gave me a necklace and prayer card so I can pray to St. Therese. I've held the necklace and said the prayer a few times.
Dad set to work fixing the back of the entertainment center and put it all together. He hooked up the TV antenna and scanned for channels. No signal. He put the antenna outside. We got NJN Channel 23! That was it. I'm apparently in a bad spot for TV. :-(
I made dinner. I delineated it in my journal, but to save my secret recipes, I'll just say I made bone-in pork steaks, zucchini and carrots, and mashed potatoes. When Dad sat down to eat, he said, "This feels like a family dinner. I haven't had one of these in a long time. I usually don't eat this gourmet." I told him when I cook, I cook, it's just dinner. I was flattered he thought it was "gourmet."
He took a bit of the vegetables. He said they had a nice flavor. "What are these? Cucumbers?" When I told him they were zucchini he proceeded to tell me he never liked zucchini before, it was always mushy. He said it was the first time he ever liked it. He said my dinner could be served in a restaurant. Somehow he managed to eat it all, I couldn't. I was glad. He's getting too skinny with all his bike riding and eating alone. I'll have to have him over more often again so I can feed him.
Dayna came home around 8:30pm. Bryan helped Dad with the TV antenna. They chatted for a few. It's been years since they saw each other. I gave him bottled water for the trip home, one for him and one for his dad. It's over an hour drive one way.
Dayna and I chatted while Dad played with the TV. She read me her lines from today's showcase. I helped her with her lines for next week's showcase. She'll be doing a monologue from Funny Girl about being a bagel on a plate full of onion rolls, and another part in a very funny skit where she plays the casting director.
Dad was getting annoyed at the TV. He hooked the other antenna up again and started scanning channels. He came into the living room holding a broom with the antenna on top and started checking signal strength. he twirls the broom and the antenna turned. He checked the signal. It was weak. He twirled the broom and checked the signal again...still weak.
Dayna thought this was pretty funny. She grabbed her iPod and began videotapin ghim. Dad had no idea at first. When we told him, he replied, "What?!?!" I said, "Dad, you'll be famous! She might put it on You Tube later." I told him he's already mentioned in the blog entitled "Grandpa Stole the U-Haul."
The super came by this morning for an apartment inspection. I told him about the sink backing up and asked about an oven rack. He said the sink has been a problem before, he'll have someone come look at the pipes. He said the landlord hasn't given him an oven rack yet, so I am still limited to top of stove cooking.
I missed Dayna's Premiere Stages showcase today. She did the theater camp at Kean University again this year. I was afraid I didn't have enough gas in the car to get there. They overlapped the camps so that the High School kids, who focused on acting this summer, acted out the Middle School kids scripts. I took a nap to get my mind off it.
When I woke up, I left to pick up my prescriptions at Genoa, inside the doctor's office. I used to go to CVS, but the doctor said the one in the office was better so I started getting my prescriptions filled right there. The pharmacist didn't even ask my name, she just came right over and started rummaging through the bags of filled scripts. She pulled out a bag and said, "Ok Donna, here's your medication." I replied, "You're good. I can't believe you remembered me." I've only gone there two other times.
You don't get that personalized service at CVS. At least I never did. After three years of going to CVS regularly for meds, they always ask my name, the pharmacist rarely goes over instructions and med info (and then only if you ask and wait some more), and they ALWAYS have a long line. At Genoa, the pharmacist remembered me without asking who I was, got my meds right away, no long lines, and she reviewed instructions to stay out of the sun and keep cool because my medication decreases my tolerance for heat and sunlight exposure and increased my risk of heat exhaustion. I love the service. It makes the extra drive worth it.
Dad came over yesterday and tried to get the TV working. He had no luck either, so it wasn't just me! With the antenna on the patio outside, he got NJN Channel 23. That's it. Channel 23. Dad came by with a different TV antenna and converter box today to try the TV again. He brought the shelf he made and the statue of Fatima he got for me, along with two white candles. He got her for me so I'd "never be alone" and "there's always someone watching over me." Grandma has an affinity for St. Therese of Lisieux and Dad has a connection with Fatima. Grandma gave me a necklace and prayer card so I can pray to St. Therese. I've held the necklace and said the prayer a few times.
Dad set to work fixing the back of the entertainment center and put it all together. He hooked up the TV antenna and scanned for channels. No signal. He put the antenna outside. We got NJN Channel 23! That was it. I'm apparently in a bad spot for TV. :-(
I made dinner. I delineated it in my journal, but to save my secret recipes, I'll just say I made bone-in pork steaks, zucchini and carrots, and mashed potatoes. When Dad sat down to eat, he said, "This feels like a family dinner. I haven't had one of these in a long time. I usually don't eat this gourmet." I told him when I cook, I cook, it's just dinner. I was flattered he thought it was "gourmet."
He took a bit of the vegetables. He said they had a nice flavor. "What are these? Cucumbers?" When I told him they were zucchini he proceeded to tell me he never liked zucchini before, it was always mushy. He said it was the first time he ever liked it. He said my dinner could be served in a restaurant. Somehow he managed to eat it all, I couldn't. I was glad. He's getting too skinny with all his bike riding and eating alone. I'll have to have him over more often again so I can feed him.
Dayna came home around 8:30pm. Bryan helped Dad with the TV antenna. They chatted for a few. It's been years since they saw each other. I gave him bottled water for the trip home, one for him and one for his dad. It's over an hour drive one way.
Dayna and I chatted while Dad played with the TV. She read me her lines from today's showcase. I helped her with her lines for next week's showcase. She'll be doing a monologue from Funny Girl about being a bagel on a plate full of onion rolls, and another part in a very funny skit where she plays the casting director.
Dad was getting annoyed at the TV. He hooked the other antenna up again and started scanning channels. He came into the living room holding a broom with the antenna on top and started checking signal strength. he twirls the broom and the antenna turned. He checked the signal. It was weak. He twirled the broom and checked the signal again...still weak.
Dayna thought this was pretty funny. She grabbed her iPod and began videotapin ghim. Dad had no idea at first. When we told him, he replied, "What?!?!" I said, "Dad, you'll be famous! She might put it on You Tube later." I told him he's already mentioned in the blog entitled "Grandpa Stole the U-Haul."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)