God Meant It For Good

Wednesday, July 21st 2010

I sat with my coffee reviewing and updating my spiritual notes.  I came across a Life Point by Joyce Meyer.  It was written in as commentary after the story of Joseph and how he forgave his brothers saying, "God meant it for good." 

Joyce writes:

So often in our lives, Satan thinks he is doing some terrible thing to bring about our destruction, and yet God has another plan entirely.  He intends to take what Satan means for our harm and work it out for our good.

This comment means a lot to me right now.  Over the past year, my life has seemingly fallen apart.  For a while, Satan seemed to be winning!  My health was poor - my back was bad, anxiety/panic attacks, adverse reactions to medications; my finances were a hot mess - credit debt up buying food and putting gas in the car, savings account depleted to pay the rent and utilities; eviction followed by homelessness; my daughter moved out; and my fiance broke my heart by saying he wanted to leave because my back was bad and he wanted to be more physical.  I was devastated!  I spent the weekend after that crying in bed falling apart.  I ended up in the emergency room two days in a row having chest pain, shortness of breath, dizzy spells, unable to eat or keep down fluids...I was a disaster!

It was shortly after and during that time that God called me to go back to church.  I began going to Grace and Peace where I'd been picking up the Angel Food.  I learned that God loves me and has a plan for my life.  I learned that we all have trials to strengthen our character, but if we keep our eyes on God he will see us through into better.  I learned to 'cast my cares on God' and stop worrying constantly.  I learned that no matter what the situation, God will make sure it's not too much to bear and he will always provide the way out to escape.  I learned to thank God and praise God and how to pray effectively.  I learned whatever I asked in Jesus' name, I shall receive.  I learned if what I ask is not God's will, I just won't get it, but I shouldn't be afraid to ask.  I learned to pray in love to be effectual.  I learned that God already knows my needs and emotions, and it's more effective to pray God's word - "Pray the answers out of the back of the book," and pray in Jesus' name and let God work.  I learned obedience is required, understanding is optional (although I still seek to understand).

So here I sit now.  God put a good case worker in my path to help me.  God put a great social worker in my path who found me an apartment and expedited all the paperwork to get me in for July so I could move out of the motel.  She helped me get my first ever couch and a dinette that actually has chairs!  Bye-bye metal folding chairs and broken table!

God was there helping me move in.  He's blessed me with an awesome Dad who, despite his problems and condition, always tries to help and doesn't criticize or belittle me for my problems.  If it weren't for Dad and my brother, Marty, my move never would have been possible.  I thank god for putting these people in my path and watching out for me.

The point of my story is that God really does work things out for good.  Satan had deceived me into thinking "love" was enough while I was going broke and falling apart.  He attacked me at my core when I discovered my love was one-sided and dependent on my health and financial contributions.  God gave me subtle hints, I see them now - hindsight is 20/20 after all.  But I had fallen for Satan's deceptions, presumably because of my strong desire for love and a more immediate family.  He took what I longed for and deceived me into thinking I'd found it, to the point of personal ruin!

But God proved that He watches out.  During my darkest hours, He was there and called to me - and fortunately I was receptive enough to hear Him!  He put the good people of Grace and Peace in my path and inspired them to say what I needed to hear just when I needed to hear it.  He gave me my best friend, Adria, to come with me when I wanted to go to church so I wouldn't be alone.  He inspired her family (Aunt, Uncle, and Grandmother) to save us seats and welcome us with open arms, hugs and kisses so we felt we belonged.  He allowed me, once again, to come back to His blessings after a really good kick in the behind to get me back on track!  It's not the first time, and I wish I could say it's the last time, but I seem to have the habit of taking care of people who don't take care of me (maybe that's why I was a nurse).  Satan gets me everytime by pulling my heart strings.

Now, hopefully, with my eyes set on God, one way or another, I'll SEE and HEAR his subtle nudges and stay on the path He's set for me.