Kamikaze Tree

July 21st 2013 

Stupid Allergy

They're trying to kill me. But not on purpose. Jeremy had a Shrimp Cup O' Noodle, spilled the water on the counter. Dave moved my coffee spoon, right where Jeremy had spilled the water. I made a cup of coffee, used my spoon, started drinking my coffee...THEN realized the spoon was contaminated. Benadryl on board due to puffy tongue and difficulty talking.  Stupid food allergies and cross-contamination. *mumble mumble grumble groan, Blech!*

July 22nd 2013

Kamikaze Tree

I ran out to Wawa tonight. I asked Lisa and Dave if they needed anything. They said no. As Dayna Leigh and I were heading down the drive, I noticed Glen's truck at the barn. So I stopped, figuring I'll see if he needs anything. I put the car in reverse, took my foot off the brake, and rolled backward, carefully aiming around 23059A (The HUGE pot hole that's large enough to deserve its own zip code). And then my car stopped abruptly with a crushing noise. I put my foot on the brake, put it in drive, rolled forward, and put it in park. I looked in the side mirror. Tree. First time in my LIFE I have ever hit a tree. Broken lens, cracked the bumper. And Glen didn't even need anything from Wawa...

Size D Cups

I went to the mall with Dayna today. We went into Spencer's. I'm still not completely used to sales associates greeting me when I walk into stores. So the one guy asks if we need help. Nope, just browsing. We get to the t-shirts. Second sales guy comes up. All I can think is, "I can click a Master lock through that plug." He sees my Quack Pack shirt and says, "We have lots of Duck Dynasty stuff." I reply that's cool. Then he says something that sounded like, "We have size D cups," while gesturing to my chest. I think to myself that's a really weird comment...but I say "Ok...thanks!" As we leave the store, I turn to Dayna and say, "Did that guy seriously just comment about my boobs?" She looks at me weird. I explain how he remarked about the D cups. She laughed and clarified, "No, Mom. He said 'We have Si's TEA CUP." Quack pack shirt, Uncle Si proudly displayed on my left boob, hence the gesture there... yeah, MUCH more appropriate to tell the customer you have a tea cup...

Toilet Therapy

How do you know you raised your kid right? When you inadvertently leave your cell phone in the bathroom and then find it on your bed. And then you hit the button and find a memo that says, " You forgot me in the bathroom.  I'm gonna need therapy for everything I've seen."