Hide and Seek

I'm no stranger to living with boys.  I grew up with two brothers.  I would wager the majority of my friend are guys.  Despite all of that, I have learned a few things since I moved in here with my friends and their sons.

Lesson 1:  I was laying in my bed reading one night.  The rest of the house was next door in Lisa & Dave's room.  I do not try to eavesdrop, but being right next door, sometimes sound just travels.  I caught a tidbit of advice that night.

Being a girl, and having a daughter, and having gone through college for nursing and working as a nurse, I'd heard the advice to wipe little girls from front to back to prevent spreading opportunistic infections to the urinary tract.  I never thought about that for little boys.  They kind of have a speed bump that would prevent that, right?

Apparently not.  While talking to the 4 year old, I heard Dave instruct, "Wipe from front to back.  You don't want to get frosting on your doodads."  I laughed.  

Lesson 2:  Another night as I was coming out of my room on my way down the stairs to get a drink, I saw the 4 year old run past downstairs into the half bath next to the stairs.  The light went on.  That's a sure sign it's night because he doesn't turn the light on during the day.  He just leaves the door open, regardless of what he's doing in there.  I have walked past the bathroom numerous times only to get a glimpse of the kid sitting on the throne, pants around his ankles, singing.  Yes, he sings while he poops.  Never saw that before either.  But I digress.

 This particular night Dave was trying to get them ready for bed.  They're like every other 4 and 6 year old I have ever met.  They stall.  "I need to go to the bathroom."  "I need a drink."  "I have to say good night to the cat."  "I need a hug."  So there goes Dave checking in to make sure the kid is not stalling in the bathroom.  More good advice came forth.

"Pee in the bowl!  We do not do theatrics with our penis while we are peeing."  Never would have thought anyone would need to know that, but apparently when you're 4 you still need a reminder.

Lesson 3:  When children are playing hide and seek, you need to look EVERYWHERE!  Especially in the bathroom cabinets before you try to use the toilet.  Today as I was heading towards the bathroom, JJ ran past and asked, "Have you seen Jeremy?"  Nope.

I got to the bathroom, turned the light on, closed the door, and nearly jumped out of my skin when the cabinet under the sink opened and a 6 year old popped his head out and yelled, "PEEK A BOO!"  

"Good Lord!  Do not do that!  Get out of here, I have to pee!"

So for any of you out there not accustomed to little boys, there's three lessons you need to know.  In case you ever find yourself living with little boys, remember to check the bathroom cabinet BEFORE you sit on the toilet!  And remember to check the seat for the remnants of theatrics!